My birthday is this Friday. A week from today. I told Kevin that for my birthday I would like him to take the kids to his parents cabin and instead of a cake I would like 2 ambien. He thought this was an odd request. I asked him if he remembered Wednesday when he had come home from Boy Scouts and I was yelling at him to get his butt over to the bathroom. Katherine had clogged the toilet because she wanted to see what happened when a roll of toilet paper was used to wipe. I told her and Seth to not move while I got the plunger. Seth decided to flush the toilet. Water went everywhere and I had to wade in and plunge and plunge then start to clean up the water. Seth ran to the other bathroom yelling that he pooped, took his diaper off and then ran back to me. Kevin walked in as Seth started to scoot on his butt and leave a poop streak in the hall. Kevin cleaned Seth up and said he would clean the floor but I told him to just get the kid to bed and out of sight. Then Kevin paused and looked at me, with my soaked feet and feces on my hand and said, “I haven’t kissed you yet today.” He went in for the kill, I turned my head and he got my cheek.
Or Thursday when I took the kids to Science Night and had a balloon blow up from carbon dioxide build up in a soda bottle. Two people commented how I brought evil latex into the school and the kids stayed at our experiment for two minutes. They made Gak at another place and Seth got pink and Kath got purple but she wanted pink so she threw a fit and Seth for some reason traded with her (very uncharacteric of him) and then 25 minutes later she wanted purple again. Then Seth ran out of the gym down the hall while Kath was crying about purple or pink or maybe blue and when he came back, his diaper was off centered and he had pee all down his leg. He was in his spiderman pjs, by the way because he decided he was spiderman that day and put his pj’s on in the morning and walked around saying, “I am Seth Spiderman.” We left and got rid of our evil latex.
So I do not think that after two such days, the only gift that I really desire is peace, quiet, and sleep. Drug induced lovely guaranteed 8 hours of sleep. And maybe a Margarita.