We all know where the fault lies.


Hello fellow readers!  I am sorry that I have been absent from your lives but my life has been occurring, causing all sorts of difficulties.  I really wish my life would stop, but then I would have nothing to write about.  You see the problems I face, dear reader.

The latest wonderful addition to the probable causes of my neurosis is my car.  I have a navy blue Honda Odyssey mini-van.  Since the third day we have owned it, it has put chinks in my ultimate coolness armor.  It has done it’s job, but I think I would have enjoyed it more had it had leather seats and it was fully loaded.

About a month ago, the car wouldn’t start.  Kevin and I jumped it, but it wouldn’t keep a charge.  We let it run for two hours, and it still needed to be jumped.  Kevin bought a self-jumper and said he would drive the van until he could get a new battery.  I told him I wanted a new battery and he said he would get one.  Kevin is not one to do things immediately.  He is one to procrastinate until his life is threatened or the deadline has passed and people are starting to complain.  So it should not have been much of a surprise when he proclaimed that after four days, the car was starting on it’s own again.

Now most of us would think, “A frayed wire is in the right position again, but this isn’t going to last forever” or “whatever is causing problems has moved slightly but it will move again and the problem will resurface so I really should just get a new battery because I love my wife and don’t want her stranded somewhere unseemly and she has asked me to get a new battery which will take a total of a half hour out of my life and because she does so much for me I will do this for her.”  Kevin, dear readers, did not think any of these things.

Instead, dear readers, he announced that the battery was completely fixed.  I commented that the only thing I know of that self-heals is skin, but he knew it would be fine.  And I guess it was.  Until Tuesday.

On Tuesday, the car wouldn’t start and so I jumped it.  I called Kevin and told him that if we did not have a new battery on Saturday, we would have a new car.  You see, Kevin believes I don’t know how much money we have because we have three accounts.  But I know where the money is AND I know something Kevin does not:  I know where the checks to the money are. 

My threat didn’t really matter because once I dropped James off of school, I decided to get gas.  The car wouldn’t start again.  I used the self-jumper.  I called a neighbor to pick up Katherine from the gas station for preschool and he tried using his car to jump it.  A guy from the gas station helped me move the car and then I called a tow truck.  They told me they had no way of taking Seth with them so I called Kevin to get a car to me.  I called another friend to come get Seth and she and I tried to get the battery off but one of the bolts was corroded on.  So now I was alone, at a gas station with two cars.  I called the tow truck again, he came out and got the van started and told me about a garage to take it to.

I drove it to the garage, called a friend to come get me and she took me to the Subaru.  It was then time to pick up Katherine from preschool and Seth from my friend’s house.  My whole morning was shot.  I had planned on dropping the kids off at school and heading home to workout.  Due to the fact that I would be working out, I didn’t get dressed in the morning.  I had not showered, I was in pajamas and I was lacking supportive underwear.  Luckily I had put yesterday’s pants on so I wasn’t in my Tinkerbell pj’s but I still felt very exposed.

Now, due to the fact that we are getting a new deck, I did not go out and buy a new car on Wednesday.  I feel as though that shows some major restraint on my part.  If decks were only $5,000, I would researching cars at this moment.  It looks like, however, that we will be paying the same amount for our new enlarged deck as a midsized sedan and although Kevin believes I can go through money like a sieve, I cannot in good conscience spend $60,000 in a forty-eight hour period.  I am going to wait a week.

Kevin can stop me from purchasing a new car, however.  He simply needs to take the blame.  He simply needs to say, “Marianne, I am sorry I didn’t listen to you and get the battery changed when you asked me to.  It is my fault that you spent Tuesday morning trying to fix a car while Seth was screaming for mosquitoes (I think he wanted bug juice, but unsure) and Katherine screaming that she loves her preschool teacher and doesn’t want to go to Kindergarten.”   He has said, “I’m sorry this happened to you” WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL.  He needs to say, “I’m sorry this was my fault.”  If his pride stops him from this, I am thinking a Porsche Cayenne.  Any other suggestions?

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