A Communist Plot

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My cushy life is over.  I used to take my kids to occasional things and if I didn’t want to, I didn’t have to.  But now my son is turning eight.  For LDS families, this is the beginning of lifelong servitude into youth organizations.  But we do so happily.  James will join cub scouts which he will go to every week and his father will help him build bird houses.  Not his mother.  I don’t want the eagle scout pin for mothers.  I will drive James to and from scouts and then his father must take over.  He is the eagle scout.  I am a drop out girl scout.  Highly unqualified.
In addition, we will be working on Faith in God, a goal oriented program to help young kids in our church learn more about the Gospel, take on responsibility, and save the planet.  Accomplishing all the goals will probably be part me, part Kevin, and part James.  Probably a lot me. 
So right now I have joined the parent advisory committee so I will not be surprised by anything the superintendent does again, I am organizing a birthday party, letting Kevin organize a baptism because he wants it in Idaho Falls and I have no clue how to do that, buying James a cub scout shirt and badges and sewing them on – Kevin used to glue them and then was shocked they came off –  trying to organize writing to let an author read and an agent desire, and still feed my kids.  I am doing a very poor job of the latter.  (Is that sentence correct?)
So I got out my “Fix it and Forget it” cookbook.  I thought it was just recipes of different combinations of food you put in the crockpot and walk away.  This is not so.  You actually have to brown the meat sometimes.  What’s that about?  How do you brown a roast?  Why do you brown a roast?  I bought the book thinking it was just throwing stuff in a big pot, turning it on and eating in 6 hours. 
So I bought what I thought would be a moron proof cookbook and once again I don’t understand it.  I just don’t understand cooking.  When I was in school and I didn’t understand something, I dropped the class.  I have tried dropping this class so many times.  I wonder if this is why my children are constantly saying that they don’t eat dinner…  Actually, that is just Katherine.  She does not believe she eats lunch at school.  She has two snacks.  Although she may only eat enough to qualify as a snack, I am trying to convince her that she eats lunch at school and I am only responsible for dinner.  I can’t handle any more responsibility.  I have to find cub scout clothes, figure out how to write a best seller in four weeks, help James have Faith in God, make sure the school district does not go to hell, AND figure out how to brown a stupid roast.  I also have to help James with homework which I failed miserably last week with because he only got 80% on one of his papers.  I can’t do simple addition but I’m supposed to use large, dangerous machinery to make four sides of a large hunk of meat taupe.  It is just too much, I tell you, too much. 

Pretty soon they are going to expect me to cut up the veggies before I put them in the crockpot as well.  It’s a communist plot, I tell ya.  Communist

4 responses to “A Communist Plot

  1. You are histerical! Life is what you make it and I love how you write about it. It sounds like so much fun and craziness all in one. Good luck in your Best Seller and Kick people into shape on the board and cook a great meal your family won't forget!Love ya

  2. Been a long long long time since my sociology classes at the Y, but I am pretty sure that if it was, in fact, a communist plot the division of labor would be spread equally eliminating your frustrations with your share of the work load…..Of course, the fruits of your labor would also be shared equally and all decisions would be based upon what is best for the whole…but I digress…

  3. I am always incredibly embarrased when I am called up to receive the mother-pin at cubscout pack meetings. I sit back down and hand it to my husband – where it belongs!

  4. I can help you with the taupe-colored roast and the Cub Scout stuff. I offer because I understand the "collective" and the language of BSA…we will assimilate you eventually! (evil laughter in the background) Have a Pulitzer kind o' day!

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