Christmas trees are supposed to be wonderful, happy things. You get it out of the basement and put it up if you are environmentally aware and choose to have a fake tree. Or you go to a lot and choose a tree within your price range. It is a simple process. In Montana, and some other mountainous states, you can pay $10 or so and go up into certain areas and cut down your own tree. Kevin has decided that this is a great idea and I guess his family did it while growing up. My family was more civilized and we bought our prefabricated, live trees. Our trees were raised to be killed so it was ok. And it took 20 minutes. And then we had hot chocolate.
Now we get the kids into the car and drive somewhere someone has told Kevin has the “greatest trees ever.” The last few years, we have ended up with trees that would make Charlie Brown proud. It has been too cold and so Kevin cut down the first thing he found, or we have left too late and it has been so dark that we thought we had found a good tree and once in the light, it had changed. The limbs hide in light, I guess. One year, Kevin cut the bottom branches off and drilled them into the middle of the tree and wired it all together. Surprisingly, they did not last until Christmas. You can generally see the trunk and I wrap twinkle light around the trunk to make it better. Let’s be honest; twinkle lights make everything better.
This year, Kevin thought we would stick to property we actually own. We have a commercial lot Kevin is building an office on and we have a residential lot we will be building a house on. The office building will start in April, so we went there first. There were two trees there that would work – there were only five trees there total. We thought we would give the tree a last hurrah as a Christmas tree instead of being ripped out and turned into mulch. Well, the commercial property borders residential property. And there are residents there, unfortunately.
So we start cutting a tree down and a guy starts yelling at us from his deck. I yell back that we own the land and a dental office will be here next year. Who makes that up? Well, the guy obviously thought we were hooligans because while we were tying the tree to our car, two cop cars showed up. Kevin thought it would have been funny if we had gotten in our car and driven away at this point. I don’t understand his sense of humor completely. So we gave the officer my name because I own the property and told them the name of the company that owns it – that’s right, I have my own company. I should give my employees (just me) a HUGE bonus for their amazing work this year.
We told them to call a friend of ours who is a cop in case they needed more info. And then they let us go.
What is so sad about this story, in my opinion, is that the tree is ugly. If it were a gorgeous, symmetrical tree, I think I would be ok with Kevin spending the night in jail. But this tree just looked like it ate all our previous anorexic trees. So I added twinkle lights. Lots and lots of twinkle lights.
I wished out loud for a really pretty tree one year. Kevin’s solution: next year, we will spend all day Saturday looking for a tree. In the snow; in the cold; on top of a mountain you have to climb. I think I may need something extra special in my hot chocolate next year!