Top 10 Things I want to Accomplish in 2011

10.  Get an angel for my Christmas tree.  I like tacky 70’s style ones or the stars with multicolored lights and tinsel.  Or maybe just a Twilight Edward ornament because he sparkles.

9.  Somewhat related – I would like to be a vampire because as a stay at home mom of three, I am supposed to be obsessed with being bitten or something.  But I want to be one from the Vampire Diaries tv show, not the books.  They can turn off emotions.  That would be nice every night while putting my kids to bed, unless frustration isn’t an emotion.  And that cast is really, really good looking.

8.  I would like to be in a car chase.  But not in the winter.  It is too icy.  Instead of peeling out, I would just be doing 360’s.  This one may be hard to achieve because I don’t want to be in any danger or trouble to accomplish this.  And I don’t want the car to roll.  Maybe I just want to be in a movie with a car chase, but a low budget one that can’t afford stunt doubles so I could drive.

7.  The other day I lost it so in 2011 I would like to find it.  Or decide that I love it so much I should just let it go.

6. Incorporate the following saying into my life: “I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world.” -Golden Bead Books

5.  Buy cape and nice tiara

4. Never bicycle and text.  That seems really dangerous.

3.  Put away my toys.  And if I have to, so does everyone else I live with.

2.  Do my hair on even numbered days.  Ponytails count.

1.  I can’t think of a #1.  There is too much pressure.  #1 needs to be really, really good.  I can’t handle it.  So I ask you what you think my number one accomplishment for the year should be?  (And lowering caffeine intake and upping anti-anxiety med intake is off limits)

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16 responses to “Top 10 Things I want to Accomplish in 2011

  1. I would also like to be involved in the car chase….. definitely a dangerous one.

  2. This is hilarious.

    Regarding #10, when I grew up in the 70s we had an angel (from the 60s I suspect) that electrocuted me every time I plugged it in. I’m still a bit scared of angels. And clowns. But I digress.

    Regarding #9, I can relate to emotion-filled bedtimes. Tonight, I played handmaiden to an exhausted 6yo, begging for (a) book light (b) water (c) kleenex (d) hug (e) stuffed animal. You may have heard me scream from north of the border.

    Regarding #1, hmmm…going to another writers’ conference?

    • I think I would like to go to the Writer’s Digest conference in NYC. Because it is in NYC. Not that Surrey isn’t the same thing…

  3. Trish Loye Elliott

    Loved the post! I want a sparkly Edward for the tree too! I also want a cape and tiara. I think that’s my number one. As for your number one? Hmmmm, how about learning to wrinkle your nose and having the whole house clean up itself? i’ve been working on that one for a number of years now. Let me know if you figure it out.

    • I always thought I looked more like Samantha’s mom (what was her name?) on Bewitched than Sam so I should be the one with super powers… And I do my eye makeup the same as well.

  4. Kelli Butenko

    You’ll think I’m lying, but honestly, I can help with #5. I have a tiara.

  5. I think number one MUST be…. sign yourself up for Harry and David’s fruit of the month club! I think that really is a great idea!!

    cape and “nice” tiara…. imagine what I could do with that and Harry Potter’s wand!!

    • Yeah, I need the fruit of the month club. I am really sick of apples and oranges. They don’t keep me regular enough.

  6. Thank you. I desperately needed the laughs.

    Right now, my #1 thing is giving my ~ 4 year old son an epiphany – WE DO NOT HIT/PUSH/TACKLE other kids.

    He has been banned from my gym’s childcare for 3 days thanks to this.

    There goes my chance to fulfill #2 for next few days.

    He might not survive them.

    Do you think a tiara and cape will help?

    Because right now I really would like a dangerous car chase.

    • I think the solution is to put your kid on the treadmill. And I think I am going to wear my tiara and cape during the car chase. Would look better in a convertible.

  7. I think you should add a cool trip to the carribbean or creation of fun fries (zucchini fries, sweet potato fries, french fries)

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