Ok. I just have to write this and get this out there into the unknown. I will have my little novel finished in a month. I will be ignoring my children and ordering pizza because I can’t handle not having it done anymore. What kicked my butt into gear? Because we are all friends, I will tell you. And I will actually be honest about it.
Many of you know that my reading of Entertainment Weekly is a religious experience for me. Pretty much. I went to NYC with two friends to see Hair because when I opened EW up one day, I saw a kid I went to Jr. High with had the lead. Now I have seen him naked. I thought that would make my life somehow complete. But EW ripped that feeling from me…
A couple weeks ago, I opened EW up again and saw that one of their Top 10 was to watch the best bad movie Troll 2. I remembered that I went to BYU with one of the guys in it. I thought: “I should look him up.” A few weeks went by, insomnia hit and I looked him up. I couldn’t remember his name so I looked up Trolls 2. Then I looked at the cast list on IMDB and there he was “Jason Wright.” (He plays Elliot, the weight lifter’s boyfriend… this link will take you to you tube to watch it. He is about a minute and a half in. If you don’t want to click on the link, I think this is the back of him.)
I don’t know what his major was, but I remember he did drama or I had a conversation with him in the drama building. I knew him because he was in my creative writing class and lived in the house behind my apartment building (there is actually a really funny story about this but it is way too embarrassing to mention. We will leave it at the fact that I will always remember that his house was directly behind my apartment’s main window.) I knew him for one semester and never saw him again. I actually had a crush on him but got nowhere. Shocking, I know, until I saw that he met and married his wife in 1993 which is the year I knew him. I think.
He has a bio on IMDB and it mentioned that he is a New York Times Bestseller. I had a mild cardial infarction. Not because he is on the list, but because I am supposed to be on the list. I am not sure if it makes any sense at all, but I wish everyone the best unless I have ever met them in my life and they are doing something I think I should be doing and then I can’t like them because they make me mad at myself. (Mainly this applies to people I barely knew in jr high, high school and college. Actually, it mainly applies to people I barely knew but still thought should fall in love with me in jr high, high school and college.)
I googled him like a good modern day stalker-wanna-be would and found out he wrote The Christmas Jar. I have actually heard about this book and I think my mother has read it. He has a few other books that I have heard of or think I have heard of. (It has inspired many people to collect change in a jar and give it to someone for Christmas. Which, let’s be honest, is pretty great. If you are into that sort of thing.)
Now, I know that he has no clue who I am and that after today I will probably never google him again, unless I need inspiration to write because I cannot tell you how upset I am that someone I have spoken with, someone who’s creative writing I edited while in class (this is a safe bet because we rotated editing groups) has a best seller. There is nothing different between him and me – except he can leave for a week and stay in a hotel until his book is complete and during this time he doesn’t have to worry that while he is away no laundry is being done, the house is being destroyed, and his wife has invited a small family to live in his basement. Except for THAT, we are exactly the same and there is no reason why I should not have a best seller. So my goal was to be done by the last week in March. I have moved it up to the end of February and then I am rewriting it and sending it to my cousin Marsha to read because she volunteered and I don’t think she realizes what a huge task that is so I’m taking her up on it and cutting off all communication so she can’t tell me she changed her mind.
I am a petty person. Not only do I take this acquaintance’s success as a threat and when I read his bio heard a voice in my head yell, “Game on,” but I cannot read one of his books until I am published. I may have to stop keeping change in a jar. I may stop using change all together and ban it from my house.
To make myself feel better, I think I will just tell myself that I am simply using an old friend’s success as positive motivation and that I wish the best to everyone and I hope everyone can feel my love through a big cyber hug.
I’ll tell that to myself while I rid my house of all loose change.