I Cannot Dance All Night

I need sleep.  That is just how it is.  I need a good eight hours if I am going to be coherent the next day.  If I have less, like the 3-4 I had last night, I am useless and you should really ignore me because I will be ignoring you.  I am simply going through the motions.  I am unsure what the motions are, though.

Sometimes the motions are to drink as much Diet Pepsi as I can until 8 pm – a time I can go to bed and still feel ok about myself.  Sometimes the motions are to feed and clothe my kids.  I do this to the minimal requirements, however.  Matching does not matter and nutritional value is less important than ease.  I do not clean my house and the way my house looks depresses me so that I can’t nap because all I am thinking is how horrible my house looks.  So I drink another Diet Pepsi.

Sometimes I find myself eating sugar to get a quick energy boost.  This usually just makes me sick because I have already had fifteen cans of Diet Pepsi.  Then I am tired, worthless, and shaking uncontrollably.

I also spend the day trying to not hate my husband because he slept just fine the night before.  In fact, when I tried to wake him because the wind blew the garage door open and the knife drawer was open and I couldn’t find Seth at 2 am and was going a bit nutty, he snored and rolled over.  (Seth was asleep on the floor under his bed.  Can I punish him for this?)   And yet my husband still lives.  He may be sleeping on the couch tonight for his safety, however.

I miss my little apartment in the attic in college that took ten minutes to clean, was generally always picked up and very easy to nap in.  I need a separate abode for naps.  One that is always clean and stocked up with Ambien.  Maybe for my 40th birthday. I mean, I am middle-aged.  I need my rest.

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2 responses to “I Cannot Dance All Night

  1. I love your writing. Hilarious. And as a cyclical insomniac (I’m in a good cycle now, thankfully), I get the sleep thing.

    Last year, I told my husband that the perfect gift for me would be 24 hours alone in a boutique hotel that has wireless. I don’t think he got it.

  2. Thanks… I have often offered for my husband to take the kids swimming at the nearby hotel; but they are not allowed in the room.

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