Technology and the modern marriage

Lately I have been thinking about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  In other words, I have been thinking about marriage, male and female roles and if sharing DNA causes siblings to actually repel each other – like positive and negative batteries.

I have been thinking a lot about marriage and I have been wondering how technology has affected it.  Studies have been done about computer, video game, and TV use and the affect on kids and they get talked about a lot.  But I wonder why there isn’t much publicity about how this affects families.  If the husband goes to work and his life has become easier through technology, does he expect technology to help his wife’s job as well – especially if she is a stay at home mom?  If you think about it, technology hasn’t really helped the stay at home mom lately.  Washing machines may be bigger or clean better, but it still takes a person to put the laundry into the washing machine, put it in the dryer, fold it and put it away.  Dishwashers may work better and you may not have to spend as much time rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, but someone still has to put them in the dishwasher and then put them away.  Diapers may last longer and hold more, but someone still has to clean up what is deposited into them.  I think the only thing left for technology to do to help stay at home moms is to create Rosy the Robot. Most stay at home moms are ready for the Jetson’s age.

But it isn’t really that way at the office.  Computer programs are made to make things easier and there has to be an app for everything.  I can think of very few jobs that haven’t been helped with computers.  I wonder if this is causing a gap in relationships if the man goes to work and the woman stays home.  Our jobs as moms haven’t changed much.  We get up, we get the kids up, we get them ready for school, we get them to school, we make sure the house is ok and then we take care of everything in the afternoon.  We do our best to referee arguments and get the kids fed semi-well and balance the budget.  Some days are better than others and some are worse.  Sometimes husbands may come home and the house is a complete and total wreck and husbands may wonder what their beloved wife was doing all day and if asked, the wife probably has no answer.  Because we do the same thing every day and it doesn’t really matter.  If we do the laundry on Monday, there will be more laundry on Tuesday.  If we scrub the floor at 3, you can’t tell by 3:30.  If you wait until everyone is asleep, no one actually sees it until everyone is awake and messing it up.  Sometimes in the middle of the afternoon, you sit down and just fall asleep because you have not had a night without thinking about your family since you have had a family.  I have no found an app to help with this.

Can you clean this up?

It is just a different life.  Sometimes I think it is a life that is hard to understand unless you have actually lived it.

I could be very wrong about this.  I could be way off.  But as I have listened to different people talk about marriage, I have tried to figure out reasons for miscommunication or misdirection.  I really think that technology may be taking those who work out of the home farther away from the realities of home.  Cyberspace creates shortcuts for a lot of jobs, but a lot of work in the family is still manual labor.  That is why I believe every stay at home Mom should have an IPAD that she can carry around with her with every episode of Beverly Hill 90210 downloaded on it.  Then while we are doing laundry or the dishes, we can be daydreaming about the days of high wasted jeans when your underwear couldn’t be seen when you bend over while unloading the energy-saving, super cleaning dishwasher.

8 responses to “Technology and the modern marriage

  1. VERY TRUE! I love your last paragraph, especially when you write: I really think that technology may be taking those who work out of the home farther away from the realities of home.

    Love it!

  2. I love this…I wonder, if I make Greg read it, will he get me a cell phone and an iPad? Yeeeeah…I doubt it. BUt a girl can dream right? I’m still holding out for my nook…then I can escape into books and ignore everybody when I need a ‘time out’.

  3. High-waisted jeans. Do you think those will come back? And NFL shoulder pads?

    Still, you make a good point about technology and housework. I remember in a Women and Economics course I took about two decades ago, we looked at some statistics that basically showed that when technology makes housework easier, the standard rises, so that women in fact do more hours of work. (i.e. the washing machine means that people wear clothes only once before washing and have more…)

    I think you deserve an iPad…

  4. My concern is that because I can’t use technology in the cooking and cleaning part of my life, I use technology in the parenting part of my life, and I feel bad about that. Charlotte watches way more TV than the first two kids did. I’ve found great apps to help Carden with the times tables and to save me from doing piano flash cards or sight word recognition with Seth. Do I love not having to do such drudgery? Yes. Do I feel bad that when they have a new thing to learn my first thought is, “I wonder if there’s an app for that?” Yes. I guess that’s the other age-old truth of motherhood. You can’t win!

  5. Although I know it will bring me mother’s guilt, I still would like the name of those apps…

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