A Slight Identity Crisis

My schtick is that I am a stay at home mom whose potential is not being fully realized by making sure my clothes are snuggly soft. I sort of just got a job as a freelance writer.  It is only sort of because I was given my first assignment and three hours later it was taken away with a promise of more, but with no timeline as to when that more would be.  I believe I will be working forty hours… a year.

But it leads to the question: Am I now a working mother?  I am working on a manuscript I hope sells millions and makes women all over the world highly unstable because they are addicted to it and thousands of websites are created dedicated to a pasty white Brit who plays the leading male.  Wait.  My leading male is a rancher.  Might be easier to just get Timothy Olyphant.  So am I not a stay at home mom now?  Am I a severely underpaid working mom?  Or a not paid at all working mom?  What if I am never published?  Am I a stay at home mom whose dream was never realized and therefore more pathetic than the stay at home moms whose main goal is snuggly soft clothes?  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but a better goal would be snuggly soft and stain-free.  I don’t have that goal.  I am an underachiever.

So I guess I am having an identity crisis.  I would really just like to be known as “Marianne, that redhead over there”.  Not “#1 and #2 and #3’s Mom”.  Not “Mrs. Dr. Kevin”.  Not “that lady in the blue minivan who sings Glee show-tunes really loud”.  (Hopefully soon it will be “that lady in a Honda Pilot who sings Glee show-tunes really loud”.)  Just Marianne.  Maybe Marianne Hansen, because no matter how long I am married, I believe I will always identify more with the name I have had since birth.  Tradition be dammed.

I think I have decided that my identity is still under construction and therefore I do not need to define myself.  Because really, it doesn’t matter.  Let’s face it: no matter what you call me, I will be making no money, while wearing stained, stiff clothing (who may have a slight addiction to BH 90210).

I have no idea who this is, so I thought it would work for an identity crisis. Maybe I should learn someones name before they apply make-up to my daughter...

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9 responses to “A Slight Identity Crisis

  1. Kelli Butenko

    Speaking of 90210, I’m dying to know if Kelly survived the fire, and did she end up with any scars that she will feel self-conscious about for years? If so, will she be able to cover them, say, with a scarf?

    • AND how will it affect her modeling career which is ruining her self-esteem but Brandon will save her. I feel better now.

  2. Trish Loye Elliott

    Marianne, I so get this! I’m a not-paid-at-all working mom too. But then, when people ask what I’m working on, I just mumble… writing a novel. At least you can say freelance writer. That doesn’t sound as air-headed as ‘trying to write stories for kids’. Gah. All I can say is… We are not pathetic. One day, we’ll show the world. We’ll get a publishing contract and then we’ll pay someone to make our clothes snuggly soft and stain free! 😉

  3. What if I don’t have the goal of snuggly soft and stain free sheets?? My goal was always just ‘clean sheets’…crap..I’m a MAJOR under achiever. My sophomore English teacher was right…

  4. I’ve gone full circle on this one and I still don’t know my exact identity in the whole professional to clean laundry spectrum. However, I have learned that not correcting people when they make the assumption that I am “the nanny” has its advantages 🙂

    • My oldest has the exact same shade of red hair that I do. It is a dead give away that we are related some way…

  5. I say if you write consistently you are a writer. Own it! Or as a friend of mine once quoted from someone else.

    Know who you are.
    Accept who you are.
    Be who you are.

    I love that.

  6. I’ve been having this problem lately, too, but delete “writer” and insert “musician.” I’ll leave it to the statisticians to decide which is more hopeless.

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