Sometimes I can be a bit of an over-achiever. At the same time, I don’t actually count my own achievements, only other peoples. So while on my trip to Israel, I decided that I need to become a professor in Islamic studies and Arabic. Granted Daniel Peterson has been studying Greek and Arabic since high school and he lived in Egypt for a while and I am stuck in Montana with no possible way of studying Arabic, I still decided this should be my goal.
While there, I also thought: I could run these tours. I can start my own tour company and get better hotels and better food and a better schedule. Never mind that I can’t actually go anywhere in Israel because I am so anxious, I should devote my life to giving tours. Maybe I can compromise and do European tours. I could give tours based on literature so now I will go home and read forty-five novels and then create a ten day tour based on those novels while becoming an ancient studies professor and raising incredibly brilliant and perfect children.
And then I realize that the reason I am thinking all of these things is because I don’t want to finish editing my manuscript. I would rather immerse myself in studies than figure out how to describe Steve’s rippling muscles or where the first kissing scene should go and how should I describe it and should I use “lay” or “lie” in this sentence. I go overboard in my goals so that I can run away from what I should actually be doing.
So today I woke up and decided to finish editing my manuscript and focus more on my writing and less on Arabic. It has helped that I told myself I can watch 90210 while editing (I edit paper and then put it in the computer. I can’t edit on the computer. I believe it is a disability I should be able to get a sticker for so I can park in the handicap spots.) I must go now. I have thirty more pages of revisions to type and Brendan just cheated on Kelly. Ooh – maybe I can get 90210 in Arabic!