I am reading a book. To make it amazing, let me add that I am reading a book without vampires or shirtless men. Now I can feel the awe.
It is called The Gifts of Imperfection. It is about how we need vulnerability in our lives to connect with each other. Everyone has shame in our lives, but by acknowledging our shame and telling our stories, we can overcome it. Courage is telling our stories and liking who we are in the process.
That is really hard. Blogging does not always help.
I started this blog to share writing. That is all. I didn’t care about statistics or pings or tweets or a bunch of other words that did not actually have meaning five years ago. I want to write and have people read my writing. I also want to be published on actual paper that comes out of a publishing company and not my home printer. So I started learning about marketing and platforms and other stuff. And I forgot about enjoying writing or maybe just enjoying.
I wondered why some posts got 500 hits and some got -2. I wondered what made this blogger popular and this one not. I wondered why so many writing blogs tell you not to read writing blogs. And I started to believe I wasn’t good enough = shame.
Now I am realizing that my blog isn’t really about building a platform or marketing fiction I am writing. I have the most fun writing when I feel like I am letting people know that they aren’t the only one out there who hears voices in the shoe department or who questions whether or not her children will grow up big and strong with all of the failings of their mother. (Actually, my children will grow up to be big due to genetics which is why I believe McDonald’s is totally ok for them WHENEVER I forget dinner or have scheduled piano, swimming, and gymnastics with only a 20 minute break and I am not the type who thinks about it before it actually happens so I do not have a picnic in my trunk. I will next week.)
I just thought I would share in case anyone else out there worries about their blogs stats 🙂 (and decides whether or not to get out of bed depending on them.) (Feel free to interchange blog stats with other nouns as well. And if you would like me to write about other topics I am completely human in, let me know. The Imperfection book talks about self-compassion as well and realizing I am not the only person who wants to wear a Barry Manilow tshirt today but knows they aren’t stylish and therefore thinks I should wear the green shirt instead but then refuses to let society dictate what I wear so I wear the Manilow shirt and then covers it with a hoodie.)