I went out to dinner with a friend of mine a while ago and we talked until 2 am about parenting and life and parenting. She used a phrase I would like to steal. She said she “parents through neglect.”
She said that knowing how to make a peanut butter sandwich by the age of four was needed for survival in her household. I listened to her and realized that the same could be said in my family.
It’s not that I don’t feed my kids or take care of them. It’s more if I don’t feel like eating dinner or am going out, I don’t make dinner. I just don’t think about it. I’m too busy curling my hair.
The other night I was feeling unwell. I was going to feed my kids at 6:00 but it was 5:30 and I knew I could just close my eyes for a moment. When I got up at 9pm, in time to yell “Get Ready for Bed!!!” I felt kind of bad I hadn’t fed them. But then I saw my 5 year old eating Frosted Shredded Wheat out of the box and drinking a glass of milk and my 7 and 10 year olds eating toast, and I realized they were just fine and one day they would be grateful.
Because my kids will not be going to college not knowing how to do the laundry or how to feed themselves. On the contrary, they will know dry cereal is good any time of the day and sometimes it’s cheaper and easier to just buy new underwear/socks.
I’m raising independent children. I am amazing.