Neglectful or Amazing Parent?

I went out to dinner with a friend of mine a while ago and we talked until 2 am about parenting and life and parenting.  She used a phrase I would like to steal.  She said she “parents through neglect.”

She said that knowing how to make a peanut butter sandwich by the age of four was needed for survival in her household.  I listened to her and realized that the same could be said in my family.

It’s not that I don’t feed my kids or take care of them.  It’s more if I don’t feel like eating dinner or am going out, I don’t make dinner.  I just don’t think about it.  I’m too busy curling my hair.

The other night I was feeling unwell.  I was going to feed my kids at 6:00 but it was 5:30 and I knew I could just close my eyes for a moment.  When I got up at 9pm, in time to yell “Get Ready for Bed!!!” I felt kind of bad I hadn’t fed them.  But then I saw my 5 year old eating Frosted Shredded Wheat out of the box and drinking a glass of milk and my 7 and 10 year olds eating toast, and I realized they were just fine and one day they would be grateful.

Because my kids will not be going to college not knowing how to do the laundry or how to feed themselves. On the contrary, they will know dry cereal is good any time of the day and sometimes it’s cheaper and easier to just buy new underwear/socks.

I’m raising independent children.  I am amazing.

I may be taking it a bit far here. PS, if anyone knows how to blur faces, let me know. This cropping is a little disturbing. Even for me

8 responses to “Neglectful or Amazing Parent?

  1. livrancourt

    I started a list when they were babies. It’s called: all the things you’ll need to work through with your therapist when you’re in your twenties. It was the least I could do…

  2. Elena Aitken

    Amen, Sista’
    I love it. And this is totally how I parent. Raising independent, confident children is the best thing we can do. It makes me crazy when I see kids who can’t get themselves something to eat. Age appropriate of course, I don’t expect a five year old to roast a chicken. I mean, not till age seven at least!

  3. Trish Loye Elliott

    Love that term! Parenting through neglect. It’s what I aspire to.

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