I believe Halloween is Against Me.

Halloween is a fascinating holiday.  Little children dress up to ward off evil spirits and we give them candy.  I believe all English speaking countries now celebrate this holiday.  I also believe this is why English is becoming a dominant language.

Wait.  I just looked it up.  Halloween is celebrated practically everywhere, so there goes that theory.

Halloween makes me feel inept.  (Looking back, all holidays may have this in common.)  I believe we have established the fact that I’m not the best at crafts and yet I’m supposed to take a large knife and make an elaborate design on a large orange -are they fruit?  Who thought this would be a good idea?  I don’t cut vegetables evenly.

And now there are books of designs you can buy to let my children know how truly inept I am because I believe jack-o-laterns should be a few triangles and a zig-zag mouth.  I do not believe in recreating the Sistine Chapel on a pumpkin.

Our Jack-O-Laterns basically have a bunch of holes in them and we tell our kids that’s what their supposed to look like.

But to be classy, we used scented candles to light them.  Not because they’re the only candles I found in the house, but  because if they can’t look good, they will smell good.  (I just came up with that.  I’m gonna take a nap as a reward.)

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2 responses to “I believe Halloween is Against Me.

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