(This is unrelated to this post but due to the constant barking when I write, I’ve got to express my utter hatred of my neighbor’s dog. We can now continue.)
I was going to write an April Fool’s joke that I was pregnant, but I figured that would be tempting fate and I really don’t want to do that. I need fate on my side. At least until I’m 50.
It’s a new month so, obviously, I’m starting a new eating program. I’ve thought a lot about this and I realize I need to use my strengths. Of course, when it comes to eating, I have no strength. I stress eat and I have a lot of stress. So I eat a lot. Which would be great if I ate a lot of lettuce. But when you’re stressed, does lettuce really do it for you? If you’re being honest?
So I’ve decided to use the innate belief we are better than the next person. I think we all believe this deep down. For some of us, it’s deep, deep, deep down. For others, it’s under the top layer of skin. Mine fluctuates depending on the situation. Just recently I’ve decided I have better taste in house color than some people. (Mustard yellow can work, but is often an unfortunate choice. Even if you use two shades.)
You may be asking yourself: How is this going to help me stick to healthier eating? If I channel any superior feelings I may have about, say, house colors into superior feelings about eating choices, then perhaps I won’t eat as much cake because I’m better than people who eat less cake.
Crap. Writing this out makes it sound incredibly stupid. But I’m still going to try and work with it. Because it’s a new month. And I need a new eating program. And I’m running out of ideas.
I wonder if a piece of cake will help me think better.