People have been asking if I enjoyed screaming. And I did. I LOVED screaming. I laughed and screamed and shot at aliens. It was a great escape.
It was so great, that I actually had a heavy heart the last day. I did not want to come home. Because I learned that I hadn’t reallly escaped anything. My feelings and heartache were still with me. The biggest realization occured when I walked through the main gift shop on Main Street in Disneyland. There was a display of onesies where the body of cartoon characters were drawn on without the head. (You know the kinds… the child’s head will be the characters head.) I saw this display and automatically thought, “I should get one.”
I caught myself, smiled a sad smile to myself, and walked on to buy some Maleficent memorabilia.
It was a great weekend and I had a blast with my friend, Dava. The people were so kind and accomodating it made me wonder how Disney does it and why I can’t create the same atmosphere at home. (Then I remembered that my children are children and realated to each other and children. And I remembered I don’t get paid and there are no fastpasses for laundry.)
But I came home and picked up the kids and went grocery shopping and cleaned the house as if I had never left. And when I saw my OB/GYN at a restaurant on Tuesday and he gave me a tight hug, I almost lost it.
It’s my new reality and I’m making it.
I may be making it by binge watching television, painting my half bath two different colors with a silver finish gloss, and making plans for the summer (which includes a road trip without a destination so that my oldest son can see what that would be like. Although I did clear up the idea that we would be camping along the way. That’s an experience he can save for college.)
But I have things to look forward to and activities, like writing, that bring me happiness.
And finding happiness is really what it’s all about.