Tag Archives: 90210

It’s My Birthday and I’m Going to Eat Cake

Tomorrow is my birthday.  I’m not really looking forward to it, so I don’t have much planned.  Actually, my plans end at 10am.  I’m dropping my kids off at 8:15 and then I’m picking up 20 cupcakes.  I will take these cupcakes to my training session with Anneliese and I’ll give one to her and then I will go home with 19 cupcakes.

Those are my plans until I pick up my kids at 3:15.

I haven’t yet decided if my kids will get any of the cupcakes or not.  They probably will.  Even I can’t eat 19 cupcakes in one sitting.  Ok.  In one day.  At least I don’t think I can.  Maybe I underestimate my abilities.

I may then spend 5 hours watching 90210 – the series based on Beverly Hills 90210 except without Dylan and to be completely honest, I see no reason to have the zip code 90210 without Dylan.  But the show was a complete mess which is pretty much what I look for in a television program so watching it while eating cupcakes sounds delightful.

But besides that, I don’t plan on the day being any different than any other day.  I think the best way to face getting older is to just get older.

And to use eye cream.  Lots and lots of eye cream.

Any advice on facing getting older?

I’m a Tricycle

I think I’m having an existential crisis again.  But I’m not completely sure.  Mostly because I’m a little confused on what an existential crisis is.

If what I think it is is what it is then I am.  And if it’s not what I think it is and it’s annoying you that I’m using this phrase, then the rest of this post is just going to make you more annoyed so I think you should google “blogs that use the word existential correctly.”  And we’ll see you later.

But you should come back.  I’m listening to a class on Waterfront law issues and I’m sure I’ll have amazing things to write about afterwards.

I'm just sad it's only 5 hours.

I’m just sad it’s only 5 hours.

I think I’m watching too much bad teen television.  (I’m open to suggestions on good teen television.)  It’s making me question my life: thus my use of existential.  (I threw in thus just in case anyone who didn’t like my use of the word existential hung around.  I find a good thus solves many problems.)

I recently spoke to a friend of mine I hadn’t spoken with for a year or so.  Whenever I talk to someone I haven’t for a while, I ponder how we met.  (thus + ponder = appeasement)  After I hung up, I thought about how I got to know her because I knew her boyfriend first and then we all clicked and I hung out with the two of them.  It wasn’t a big deal.  I believe at the time I was overcoming an over-sized crush on an unobtainable man. (This description may also be coming from teen television.)  And then I thought about it some more and watched a couple episodes of Teen Wolf and realized that for 6 months of my life, I was the third wheel.  (Lightening should be going off in the background and Vincent Price should’ve read that last line.)

I’m not sure how I could’ve missed that for almost 20 years.   I feel like I’ve been living a lie.  I’m not sure what the lie would be because I do remember being invited and not inviting myself and I think it only happened 3 or 4 times BUT I do think this proves one thing:  I need to watch more teen television.

FYI: Orange is the new apostrophes, underlining of proper nouns, and italics.

Stalking the O.C.

Many of you know I have a slight thing for Beverly Hills 90210 It’s helped me through some tough times.  If you ever don’t know what to do, the BEST option is to ask yourself, “What would Kelly Taylor do?  And would it affect her relationship with Dylan?”

Well, I recently  moved and as I was unpacking I started watching The O.C.  It is epic. (I learned how to use that word from watching, I think.)  It is a bit different from 90210 in that it has characters that are supposed to be funny.  It is the same in that everyone is rich, beautiful, and gets good grades without going to class.  I think I played high school wrong.  Obviously the social clubs help you get into college more than academics.  And never, ever, ever having a bag big enough to carry books in.

Of course there is one character I can’t stand, but unlike 90210, she is the one that leaves/dies, making season 4 the best season and truly hilarious.  Peter Gallagher has some of the best lines of any teen soap.

When things are bad, I like to pretend I’m in the O.C.  It’s warm there.  My hair is always perfect.   I can go to sleep in full makeup without breaking out.  Bras are an unnecessary accessory.  And I have 4-6 really close friends I do everything with for the rest of my life who live in my neighborhood.

I just haven’t figured out how to get over the fact that I also have to date all of the men in the group.  It’s going to be a really difficult conversation to have with my husband.

Wow.  The picture sums up so much.

Wow. This picture sums up so much.

Letting My People Down

I feel as though I am letting my people down.  My people being the ones who have been googling things like “Dylan,” “the original and therefore only true 90210,” “before team Jacob and team Edward there was team Dylan and team Brandon,”  “Are Brandon and Dylan real?” “Do Brandon and Dylan have facebook pages and if so does that mean they are real?”  “What would my children look like if Dylan was their father?” Just between you and me, my people can be scary.

Well, I am into season five, I think, on Soap Net and it is getting old.  I only watch the parts with the original people in it so I am fast-forwarding about half the show now.  I find myself wondering if Brandon and Kelly will get together AGAIN, but if they are, if they could just get on with it because this dragging it out is killing me.  I have a goal to see every episode, but fast-forwarding two a day is now too slow.  I need seasons 5-9 so I can bang it out over a weekend.  I think one season only has David and Donna in it who are original so I should be able to get through that season in about an hour.

there never seems to be an end of Dylan pictures

Some would say give up, but those some don’t have a small tinge of OCD keeping them going.  I must see the whole series.  And then I must start writing Fox about a TV reunion special where they are at their 20th high school reunion and start switching dates again.

At my reunion, I’m just hoping I remember who I even had a crush on.  I’m hoping to put a gold star on their nametag so I don’t have to keep thinking why their name sounds familiar after the first time I figure it out.  After reading my journal from high school, though, I think every guy there may get a gold star.

I am also learning that not many people stuck with 90210 after Dylan left.  (And really, who would besides the people I met at my OCD support group.  It is the best one to join, by the way, because the people in it have a compulsion to attend and be on time and therefore are dependable, but the line to wash your hands is really long because no one washes them just once.)  I found this out because when I bring up season six, episode eight, NO ONE knows which episode I am talking about.  Then I explain a little and I still just get blank stares.  I feel as though I am the only one with this problem until I go to a people pleasers support group and everyone there tries to remember the episode and agree with whatever point I am making from it.

But I am getting bored with my goal and there isn’t much I’m going to do about it because the series is not on iTunes or Amazon and I would have to actually buy the DVDs and I have my pride.  I can’t let the mailman know I wish he looked like Jason Priestly.  I don’t care if you can’t see what is in an Amazon delivery package.  I know he would know.  (Don’t worry.  I am going to a support group for that.)


I am not a very good cyber stalker.  I get bored with people after a day or two.  Sometimes it lasts a week, but never longer.  About a month ago, I stumbled on a Twilight site, thinking it was about how to use Twitter, and got hooked.  Some people may think the utter and complete devotion to fictional characters and Robert Pattinson (or RPatz as he is known by his stalkers) is perhaps unstable or unhealthy, but I admire their stamina.  These blogs have been up for a couple of years and they still keep talking about RPatz.  That is dedication I just don’t have.

There is one site I visit occasionally because they are humorous but I can’t pass the site on because it is VERY irreverent and my parents may link to it and I will be shamed.  (You can guess from this that I do not write romance.)  But they are some very funny women who may or may not tell their husbands that they contribute to this blog.  They find EVERY picture ever taken of RPatz, post it on their blog, and then comment about how wonderful he is and what they would do if they ever found him alone in an alley.  (By the way, Robert, if you read this, DO NOT travel anywhere alone.)  They even have a big enough following that they have spies in the town he is filming in.  This is some SERIOUS dedication.

I don’t have it.  I stalked Dylan and Brandon from 90210 a couple weeks ago.  It lasted two hours.  I read Wikipedia and then watched them on Jimmy Kimmel and then went to sleep.  I woke up still wanting to watch 90210 and the new movie they made together but once I did that, I was fine.  I may still have a slight 90210 addiction, but that will end when I see all the episodes (and I fast forward all the parts with Andrea and Donna so I am not even really dedicated to that show 100%).

I had a thing for Timothy Olyphant for a day.  I found the show Justified, which I love but it has a bit of swearing (every other word) so I will not recommend it to those who don’t enjoy a nice cuss word every now and again. (But I do believe a blog entry based on it is coming.)  I googled him, found you could watch Catch and Release on You Tube in 10 minutes increments, watched a half hour, got tired of 10 minutes, thought about renting it, and then fell asleep.  (I tend to stalk right before bed.)

Even the guy I went to college with who I wrote about who is a big jerk for being successful?  I haven’t googled him since that night.

Does this mean I am not a dedicated person?  I know I have been married for ten years and I spend every day raising kids, and I have spent the last two years working on writing, and I still speak to EVERY member of my family, but if I can’t be a good stalker, in a time when stalking is so EASY, is there really any hope?  (I included the pictures to show that I can find these people, but I spent more time figuring out how to place them in the blog than I spent actually looking at the pictures and they don’t have any witty captions.  So, so sad.)

A Slight Identity Crisis

My schtick is that I am a stay at home mom whose potential is not being fully realized by making sure my clothes are snuggly soft. I sort of just got a job as a freelance writer.  It is only sort of because I was given my first assignment and three hours later it was taken away with a promise of more, but with no timeline as to when that more would be.  I believe I will be working forty hours… a year.

But it leads to the question: Am I now a working mother?  I am working on a manuscript I hope sells millions and makes women all over the world highly unstable because they are addicted to it and thousands of websites are created dedicated to a pasty white Brit who plays the leading male.  Wait.  My leading male is a rancher.  Might be easier to just get Timothy Olyphant.  So am I not a stay at home mom now?  Am I a severely underpaid working mom?  Or a not paid at all working mom?  What if I am never published?  Am I a stay at home mom whose dream was never realized and therefore more pathetic than the stay at home moms whose main goal is snuggly soft clothes?  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but a better goal would be snuggly soft and stain-free.  I don’t have that goal.  I am an underachiever.

So I guess I am having an identity crisis.  I would really just like to be known as “Marianne, that redhead over there”.  Not “#1 and #2 and #3’s Mom”.  Not “Mrs. Dr. Kevin”.  Not “that lady in the blue minivan who sings Glee show-tunes really loud”.  (Hopefully soon it will be “that lady in a Honda Pilot who sings Glee show-tunes really loud”.)  Just Marianne.  Maybe Marianne Hansen, because no matter how long I am married, I believe I will always identify more with the name I have had since birth.  Tradition be dammed.

I think I have decided that my identity is still under construction and therefore I do not need to define myself.  Because really, it doesn’t matter.  Let’s face it: no matter what you call me, I will be making no money, while wearing stained, stiff clothing (who may have a slight addiction to BH 90210).

I have no idea who this is, so I thought it would work for an identity crisis. Maybe I should learn someones name before they apply make-up to my daughter...