September 12th was Bradley Somer’s book launch for Fishbowl.
Rebecca Stanfel and I drove up to Calgary for it. It’s a mere 6 hour drive if you actually know where you are going.
Therefore, it took us 7.
Macleod Trail is under construction. DO NOT TAKE THIS ROAD. But if you do, you can strike up a nice conversation with a bride you will drive next to for half an hour.
What is nice about Canada is the fact they let you know that they are not putting down recycled roads from, say, Toronto, but they are using NEW asphalt.
Brad knows how to throw a party. He did a few readings, had a band and then had a drag show to tie everything up. (Which it did. Read the book.)
Everyone is riveted!
I’ve never seen the Sound of Music in drag but I also haven’t laughed this hard in a very, very long time.
This is the world’s greatest writing group of which I am not a part. But they are Canadian so they were too polite to ask me to get out of the picture.
Rebecca and me! We had such a great time. Everyone should road trip with her. NOW.
I loaded up on chocolate and gripe water with alcohol to give to my kids when they aren’t really sick but think they are so it looks like I’m doing SOMETHING and headed home.
I highly recommend going to Brad’s next book launch which he doesn’t think he is going to do.
But he will.
And if he doesn’t, we can just all meet up at his house on a Tuesday at about 6:15pm for dinner. I hear Poutine is AMAZING.
I recently went to Canada for my friend, Leanne Shirtliffe’s book launch. Look it up. I’ll wait.
I visited with part of the critique group, The Easy Writers. Brad, Trish, Elena, and Leanne were kind enough to let me hang out with them. In public.
I learned A LOT while there.
1. A child’s room had a sign on her door saying people taller than it can’t enter. It’s probably at 6’5”. I don’t know what that is in meters. I apologize. I could google it. I was telling Brad this. I said, “She must be scared of Saskatchewans.” I got a confused look. I learned that while Sasquatch may be a Saskatchewan, not all Saskatchewans are Sasquatches.
2. I learned people from Saskatchewan are called people from Saskatchewan and not Saskatchewans or Saskatchewanianianians. But I also learned writing “people from Saskatchewan” takes longer. (I did not learn the plural for Sasquatch. I mean, does anyone really care?)
3. I learned that the city of Calgary has more people than the whole state of Montana.
4. I also learned that I was deluding myself by believing so few people live in Montana because it’s so far north but the Calgary statistics prove otherwise. (I knew before this trip that Calgary is north of Montana. Thank you, 4th grade teacher, Mr. Lichenstein.)
5. I learned that it doesn’t matter how long I’ve worn heels; I still make rookie mistakes. Like putting lotion on my feet right before a book launch party.
6. I learned that falling on pavement in Canada before a party is just as embarrassing as falling on pavement in the U.S before a pary.
7. And, probably most importantly, I learned that Highway 2 forks and if you stay to the left you go to Calgary and if you go to the right, you head to Edmonton. The key is the big buildings. If you are around big buildings, you are in Calgary. If all of the big buildings are behind you and you are still heading north, you are not.
I thought I’d found 3 rude Canadians while there and it was really exciting. But it was pointed out they could’ve been visiting Americans. I’m totally going to card them next time.
As I drove south, I realized I hadn’t been to Tim Hortons while there. So I stopped. I was afraid I’d be asked at the border.
It was a totes brill* trip. I highly recommend driving to Canada and reading books written by The Easy Writers while eating Kraft Peanut Butter.
Go. Go now.
*I believe this is current slang for totally brilliant. The verdict is out as to whether you can combine two abbreviated words. Whatever.
I got this in Calgary. It gives me more street cred as a writer.