Scene: 9:30 pm. A Pediatric Dentist and his wife turn in early because they are living the dream. His cell phone rings.
Women with heavy German accent: Dr. Rencher?
Woman: I am Olga from the Hutterite colony Summerfest. (name and colony made up) Are you going Black Friday shopping?
PD: Uhm, maybe?
Woman: Could you buy me something?
PD: I guess… (said with intense confusion.)
Woman: Could you get me a steam iron at Sears? It is normally $40 but is on sale for $20.
PD: OK (said with hesitation.)
Woman: I will be bringing my children Monday and I will pay for it then. I promise to pay for it.
PD: I’m not worried.
Woman: OK. Thank you. Goodbye.
PD turns to wife: I’ve never had that happen before. Is this normal?
Wife: Yes. In Germany, in the 1800’s when the Hutterites left, people would often ask their Pediatric Dentist to go Black Friday shopping for them. And then they brought him a live chicken.
(Or perhaps the better question may be why my husband agreed to buy a steam iron for a random person because he’s their kids’ dentist. If this gets out, we may be using the extra office space to open a personal shopping business. We match your fillings with a nice hat and glove set.)
I’ve mentioned before, I’m addicted to the show Justified. It is such a different life than I’m used to; I love to watch it and wonder if people really do live this way.
The show is based on books by Elmore Leonard about a federal marshal in Kentucky. I can’t decide if I have a crush on Raylan Givens, or Timothy Oliphant who plays Raylan Givens. (These are the type of deep thoughts that keep me up at night.)
When I discovered the show, I had missed a few episodes and watched them in a marathon. After a while I started to believe that bribing people is a good way to get people to do what you want.
And if they don’t, you shoot them.
Sometimes I forget this might not apply to me because I’m not the head of an illegal organization and my family does not support itself by growing medicinal plants.
I’m married to a dentist. I don’t think anyone has ever made a show or written a book featuring dental mafia. I guess I could threaten root canals but the drills aren’t really portable so I would have to get the people to come to me and sit in a brightly colored chair with stuffed animals on the walls and TV’s playing Rio in the ceiling. I don’t think it would be the same.
I do look at my friend Sarah, who’s from Kentucky, a little different. Especially when she makes me brownies.