Tag Archives: dogs

Where Have I Been?

I have a lot to catch you up on.  My family and I went to Honduras and I went to a writing conference where I learned Ned Stark is NOT Tony Stark’s dad.  But the reason I have not been here lately is (laziness but let’s not be honest about this) due to a traumatic event in my life.

That's an elk hoof.  or foot.  No longer part of the elk.  And that's my kitchen floor.

That’s an elk hoof. or foot. No longer part of the elk. And that’s my kitchen floor.

My husband shot an elk.  Not a big deal.  But then when my son asked if they could bring home a leg for the dog, my husband said, “sure.”

While everyone was gone, the dog brought it into my house and dragged it around.  (Once you bring an elk leg home, the house is no longer yours.)

I screamed.  I locked myself in my room with Oreos.  But the side door was open and the dog brought the elk hoof INTO MY ROOM.

I called a friend’s husband to come remove it, but once he got on the phone, I felt too proud to ask him to come over to move the hoof 2 feet to the porch.  I made him stay on the line as I kicked it out the door, however.  And when the skin wrapped around my ankle, I screamed.

But it was out of the house.

I thanked Chad for being there for me and then I hung up the phone.  Only for the stupid, yet fast, dog to bring it back inside the house but this time to the door of my bedroom.  I quickly shut all doors leading out of my bedroom and waited until my 8 year old got home so he could take care of it.

My husband posted on Facebook how dead he was and the majority suggested he buy me a pair of shoes.

As luck would have it, I had a new pair that I was saving as a reward for something.  (I buy myself rewards before I figure out how I’m earning them because I’m more motivated to do something- anything- then.)

They were incredibly expensive shoes (for me.  Not Jimmy Choo expensive.  But more than Nordstrom Rack.)  I was saving them for something big.

But I’ve decided to listen to the people and wear them as a reward for battling an elk hoof and coming out alive.

That elk has ended up being the most expensive chew toy my dog has ever had.

(Although you may think I would be willing to go through this again for another pair of shoes, you would be wrong.  I would much rather earn them by finishing a manuscript or running a half marathon.  Or getting a minimum wage job and saving up.)

The shoes deserve their own web page so expect to see them soon.

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Holy Toledo, Batman

I am having serious issues.

Thank you for not commenting.

I’m experimenting with writing personal essay and articles.  I’ve been blogging for so long that I don’t know how to write correctly.  I’m used to just throwing my thoughts down on a piece of computer screen and calling it a day.

And now I’m trying to combine blogging with five paragraph essays and seeing what happens.

Due to the fact that I cannot seem to do more than two things at once, I’ve pushed away blogging.  (The other thing I’m doing rotates between housework and studying Spanish.)

So I’m going to be honest.  I’m about to write a few blogs that will come out over the next week or so.  I’m going to talk about my amazing new cooking ability; the book launch I went to in Canada with drag queens; and how to end global warming.

(The book launch had drag queens.  I did not go to Canada with any.  Although that would’ve been a blast.)

Then I’m going to ignore you and try to write brilliant and global pieces on canning; coming to grips with being a feminist and a stay at home mom; how I have no domestic training and yet my children are not malnourished; and how to end global warming.

And I’m editing to get ready for the Surrey Writing Conference.

And trying to train this dog.

And giving up white sugar and flour.

What can I say?  This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever tried to do.

All while ending global warming.

This is an abstract image of my life.

This is an abstract image of my life.

It’s been a Heavy Summer

Have I mentioned this summer has been difficult to blog?

After I had my miscarriage, there was an ill timed pregnancy announcement.  It hurt.

I wanted to make sure I didn’t do something similar here.

There has been a difficult death in the family.  Trying to find humor in life or finding the irony in situations just seemed wrong.  There is no humor or irony in death sometimes.  And I don’t want anyone to think it doesn’t matter by carrying on as if nothing happened.

Because something happened and it was important.

My other problem this summer is due to my desire to write a scathing blog about a couple who divorced their spouses to be together.  I don’t believe in public shaming.  And I know I don’t know the whole story.  I just know the end result and it’s sad.

So many people are affected by two people’s decisions.  Or just one person’s.  It’s been hard to wrap my head around it.

Don’t get me wrong.  We’ve had fun this summer.  We’ve been to camp and seen family and gone swimming and just chilled.

It’s just also been a heavy summer that needed some quiet time.

I think I’ll be grateful for school to start.

When my kids start asking me if I knew Sacagawea when I was a child.

At least Build A Bear wasn't a complete waste.

At least Build A Bear is having a resurgence.

,In the Dog House

My kids want a dog.  My daughter really wants a dog.

A grainy and therefore id-defying picture of my daughter with a borrowed dog.

I never had a dog growing up, so I’m not so sure about getting one.  There seems to be a lot of crap involved.  And I already deal with a lot of crap.

We also travel a lot and I’m not sure how far it is to get a dog that is kenneled at least one weekend a month.

Two of our friends got dogs for Christmas.  My kids have been playing with these dogs and whimpering when they leave them.

It’s not like I haven’t tried substitutes.  My daughter has four robotic dogs (all different sizes being able to do different things which means that if you put all four together, it is almost like a real dog) and a  Webkins dog she can play with on the computer.  Why is this not enough?