Tag Archives: exercise

How CrossFit Increases Spirituality

Today, my husband and I finished the intro for CrossFit.

Congratulations to us!

Except

I don’t want to do the real class.  The intro classes scared me to death.  It was hard.  Really hard.  And there were a lot of squats.  More than necessary.  I don’t care how many times Kyle tells us it’s an everyday activity.  No one does that many squats in any everyday activity I know of.  And if you do, you should just stay down.

And I promise to never do another activity that makes me squat then throw a ball against a wall.  Especially an activity that makes me do that over and over for five minutes.

It really hurts.

I don’t like pain.

And now I’m working out every day of the week and then praying during the weekend.

I’m a writer.  I’m supposed to have soft, uncalloused hands and carpal tunnel syndrome.

But next week, we start the real class.

I guess I’ll be praying on week days too, then.

(I would include a picture, but my phone is on the ground and I can’t squat down to get it right now.)

Hot Namaste

Hot Yoga is a fascinating experience. You try to wrap your body around itself while being sweaty and slippery. Supposedly if you intertwine your fingers a certain way then they don’t slip apart. I haven’t mastered that. I haven’t even apprenticed it.

This was my second time doing hot yoga and I think I’m getting better. I drank way less of my sweat this time. I still can’t hold any pose very well or very long, but I’m drinking less sweat.

And I lost .5 lbs in body water. I think I gained it back within an hour of finishing because I drank 5 gallons of water, but it’s that one hour that counts.

I went with Susan.  She’s willing to be dragged places and try questionable activities.  (Helpful qualities if I have you on speed dial.)  Neither one of us really knew what we were doing.

We tried to hide it by bringing our own mats.  They were brand new.  But wrong.  Ours cost $7.  Hot Yoga mats go for over $70.  There’s a difference.

Mine even had a special prize when I unrolled it.

You can feel how Zen she is just by looking at her

All Yogis WISH they had a mat like this.

My other favorite part was walking outside and freezing in 75 degree weather. It makes a person appreciate Arizona more.

But I am so tired now; I just want to nap. And it’s not because yoga is relaxing. That’s a misnomer. It’s because every muscle in my body had to be in a different position than relaxed (I’m never “engaging” a muscle again) and it had to hold that position. SO TIRING. My shoulders hurt just thinking about releasing them.

Of course, I’m going to go back. I’m determined to spend a whole hour and not drink my sweat once.

I’m hoping to accomplish that by 2018.

Maybe I’ll have a new fitness goal by then.

Reward and Punishment

So I’m back to trying to eat healthier. I hate the fact that when I eat too much sugar and carbs, I’m tired. I find this completely unfair. Birthday cake should be exempt from all natural laws.

But I had 3 birthday cakes. There was no moderation.

I don’t have very good willpower (which I believe I’ve proven numerous times here) so my friend and I have created a punishment for whoever cheats the most.

On March 20th (unless something comes up) we are going to go to the movie Divergent.Whoever cheats has to wear a shirt that says: “I Love Tobias”. That person also has to stand up midway into the film and declare her love for Tobias.

(For those of you who don’t know, Tobias is the name of the lead male in the film. I figure many of you deduced this but if you didn’t, I didn’t want you to think we just picked a random name out of a hat. Because that would be weird.)

So far it’s been an amazing motivator. I really don’t want to do that amid all of the preteens that will be in the theater. One of them may yell: “Solidarity, Sister!” And no one wants that.

And we plan on eating cupcakes during the movie. Probably 14 each. To make up for all of the sugar we haven’t been eating.

My New Diet Plan

Here is the update to my no sugar, no flour diet.

It ended.

I did incredibly well for 21 days.  Then I didn’t.

Eating is the weirdest thing.  I ate better and pretty much felt better.  I had some stomachaches but I figured that was due to the fact that I was eating better and my body didn’t understand.  I didn’t want to go to bed at 7pm and I had more energy.

But I missed foods.

I missed the high I get with chocolate and I missed being able to reward myself with food or eat away a bad day.

My stomach was flatter and I looked much better in a swimming suit but I guess that isn’t enough for me to stay away from bad food.

I’m trying to find a middle ground and I’m failing miserably.  I don’t seem to have any self control and it is driving me insane.

I go from being proud of my body because of everything it’s done and everything it can do to thinking this is a cop-out and an excuse to eat a Snickers.

Then I can’t decide how good I truly want to look in a bathing suit and who am I trying to look good for?  Me?  I’d prefer to be reading in sweats in bed.  (Oh, and ANOTHER update: we don’t have a fireplace yet.  Fireplace stores should have different hours.)

But when I’m in a bathing suit, I honestly do want to not embarrass myself.  I’m just not in a bathing suit that often.

Maybe that should be my next diet plan:

I have to wear a bathing suit around the house.

I bet I snack less.

I also bet I answer the door less.

But only at the beginning.  I have a feeling after a few incidences, people will stop coming around.

This is me and my daughter in bathing suits.  I think we look hot.

This is me and my daughter in bathing suits. I think we look hot.

My Half Marathon is Almost Here

Well, I’m leaving on a jet plane.  I’m unsure if I’ll come back again.

My half marathon is Sunday.  This week I’ve had a pinched nerve and my lower back hurt so bad my nickname became “Icy-Hot.”  (Icy- Hot patches are incredibly hard to put on your back by yourself while sitting in your car in front of CVS by the way.)  (But the CVS checker didn’t seem to be the type who’d do it for me.)

I have very simple goals in three different levels.

Level 1 = Do not get picked up by the sweeper van (this van picks up people going too slow to make the time cut off)

Level 2 = run 7 miles straight then walk and run until someone yells “You’ve crossed the finish line”

Level 3 = Win $1 million in quarters from a slot machine

I’m still thinking about the last one.  I only have a carry on and that cost me $30 with Allegiant Air.  I’m unsure I’ll be able to carry that many quarters home.  I may just buy a new pair of shoes instead.  It’s hard to know at this point.

I’m a little nervous, but I’m fairly confident I can achieve goals one and two.  My biggest problem with running is boredom.

I’m thinking of downloading a movie to my phone to listen to while I run.  Suggestions?

TV Teaches All Essential Life Lessons

Here is the completely unnecessary background story:
So on Friday, my training was to run 7.1 miles.  I had the whole season of Rizzoli and Isles on DVR.  But I turned on my cable and it didn’t work.  I had to get a new cable box which meant a clean DVR.  So I decided to buy the season online, because I can think of few things worse than running 7.1 miles without destraction.  But then my Blue-ray didn’t work so I couldn’t watch it on my TV.  So I balanced my Ipad on the treadmill for 7.1 miles.  And I tried not to run too loudly.

 
Oh.  And background, background story: My husband thinks the microwave is broken but it works for me which makes me think it likes me more.
And before I went running I was on an ichat for 40 minutes to be told to plug my blue-ray into a different TV (which we don’t have.)  I was told this twice and then the helpful person ended the conversation.  And then I called and was told it was broken.  After 40 more minutes.  So I was in a bad mood.  And that was BEFORE I started running.

 
And then I watched Rizzoli and Isles and Rizzoli’s mom told her to think of 3 good things for every bad thing she thought.
And this is what I thought:

  1.  I don’t have to run 8 miles for one more week.
  2. I have chocolate in my freezer.
  3. TV shows solve most of life’s dilemmas in less than 45 minutes.

You should try this next time you have a bad thought.  It really works.  Until the microwave won’t pop a simple bag of popcorn.

Jogging Partners

Jogging is getting easier.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

While in Utah, I mentioned to my 20-something niece I needed to go jogging and she said she would like to go along the Provo River Trail and I should go with her so we could drop a car off at the bottom and only have to jog one way. I’m all about only jogging one way.

So I put on jogging shorts and a jogging shirt and a compression sleeve because this is Provo after all and fashion counts. I even had my cool triathlon sunglasses on and my Ipod nano with the headphones that are sweat and water proof except the wires are coming out of the protective sleeve so they might not be anything proof and one day electrocute me because I sweat like no other.

And then we went jogging together.

By jogging together, I mean that we were on the same path, except for that parking lot I got lost in, until my niece finished 20 minutes ahead of me and then I was jogging by myself while she walked to her car and had a nice cool drink of ice water.

It was pretty. And it was the farthest I’ve ever gone. But I posted it on Facebook and now my-slightly-older-but-much-more-in-shape cousin who runs-all-the-time said she’d like to run it with me.

I’m going to have to buy a cuter jogging outfit.

NOT Provo worthy

NOT Provo worthy

Vocabulary Lessons

We are going backpacking as a family.  I’m not sure what has come over us but I guess we’re trying to force nature on our children.  It makes me feel better about letting small electronic devices occupy their time when I want a nap.

And to be honest, Kevin originally asked me if I wanted to go HIKING as a family.  Then he told his friend we were going BACKPACKING.  He didn’t think his change in vocabulary was that big a deal until I said I was going to buy a 2k cubic zirconia but was actually going to buy a 2k diamond.

I’m nervous about the backpack I’ll be wearing.  Kevin has said it’s a horrible bag but now that we need me to wear it, he is now saying it’s horrible because it’s too small not because it’s a horrible bag.  I’m usually not as picky on vocabulary as I have been recently.  But if I have to carry all of my possessions on my back, I need an amazing backpack and I think that’s why the story has changed.  Amazing backpacks come with an amazing price.

And we can’t afford it anymore.  Not after my previous vocabulary lesson.

(Dear prospective thieves: I didn’t REALLY buy a 2k diamond.  But it made for a better ending.  If you look through my jewelry box, you will find the cubic zirconia.  What if I just leave you a $20 on the front door?)

Arches: the Gateway to Patience

I took my kids to Arches National Park.

Here’s how it went in their words:

We hiked Park Avenue (so named because the red rock is as high as sky scrapers on both sides of the path).  It is down hill at the beginning but flattens out quickly.  The hike is .9 miles one way.  We probably did .75 and turned around due to lack of shade.

10 yr old son:  I like this place way better than New York City.  There are too many people there.

8 yr old daughter:  New York City is WAY better.  I hate this place.  There’s too much sun.

We had water.  I may forget lunch for school but I don't forget water in the desert...

We had water. I may forget lunch for school but I don’t forget water in the desert…

We’re almost back to the car:

8 yr old: I’m gonna die of a heart attack.

She sits down on a rock.  I tell her I’m going to take her picture.  She poses.

We hike The Windows.

Me:  This is Turet Arch.

8 yr old:  It should be called Tiring Arch.

We approach a little hill with slick rock.

8 yr old: We’re going there?

   5 yr old son: Look! No hands!

We go to the visitors center to watch the introductory film so everyone can become Jr. Park rangers.

5 yr old: Is this 3D?

We only hiked Park Avenue and The Windows.  We walked around Balancing Rock and then headed back to Moab.  We went to Milt’s for burgers and shakes, swimming at the pool, and a chuckwagon dinner.  The next day we hiked Delicate Arch.  On the way out of town we drove 3 miles to the middle of nowhere to see fossils still in the rocks.  I almost got stuck in sand.

I asked my kids if they liked the trip.

10 yr old:  I liked the arches.

5 yr old:  I liked the dinosaur fossils.

8 yr old: I liked everything.  Except the hiking.

This is not "almost there."

This is not “almost there.”

Cross Chaining

Follow me on a journey where I take a very small lesson in life and twist it to where it applies to life principles found everywhere in the universe.

I recently took my bike in to be fixed because I was pretty certain my husband had messed with it.  I showed the bike store owner (I believe it adds to the story if you know he is about my age, very buff, and very, very knowledgeable about bikes and all things bike related.  Included padded shorts.)  I showed him what was wrong.  He looked at me and told me, “It’s time for some tough love.”  And then he told me I was cross chaining.

(You should google what this is because I’m about to destroy the definition.)

If your chain is on the front large wheel then it should be on the back small wheels.  If your chain is on the front small wheel then it should be on the back large wheel.  If your chain is on the front small wheel and the back small wheels then it is on an angle, or ‘crossing.’  So you shouldn’t ride your bike in every possible gear or you will cross chain and bring your bike into the bike shop thinking it’s broken when you really just don’t know how to ride a bike that has more than 3 gears or wasn’t purchased from JCPenney’s in 1988.

It’s tough love to be told something so basic and yet not exactly obvious knowledge.  If I shouldn’t do something, my bike shouldn’t allow me to do it.  That makes sense to me.  I need my margin for error shrunk to the smallest possible gap.  So that I don’t fall into that gap.

And here is where I enlarge this story to create a metaphor that only works if you read it while squinting.  Learning any basic lesson that you think you should just know is embarrassing.  But we gotta do it.  Because no matter how much we wish we could, we just can’t cross chain through life.

(Ok.  It’s at the very end it kind of comes a part.)

Mine is the one with a first aid kit.

Mine is the one with a first aid kit.