Tag Archives: humor

European Pictures Part 2

I missed two of my favorite snapshots I caught.  And I thought, “What a shame.”

I like how they clarify that one leg should be on the ground if you are on a bike

I like how they clarify that one leg should be on the ground if you are on a bike

Kevin and I went to Swan Lake at the Vienna Opera House (crossing off an item on my bucket list) This picture is what it looks like when you try to take a picture of the Prima Ballerina and miss.

Kevin and I went to Swan Lake at the Vienna Opera House (crossing off an item on my bucket list) This picture is what it looks like when you try to take a picture of the Prima Ballerina and miss.

I hope these pictures help you appreciate travel just a little bit more.

And, unfortunately, I do NOT take family portraits.  (In case you wanted to hire me.)

 

This Week in European Sign Posts

Last month, my husband and I went to Prague, Budapest, and Vienna on a tour.  It was a wonderful 10 days and we enjoyed ourselves immensely.  I highly recommend going to Europe in the fall.  It’s not too cold but the lines are short.

While I was there, I noticed the street signs.  I love street signs.  I often wonder what people are thinking when they decide THAT should represent a pedestrian zone or a one way street.

I thought, for an extra special treat, I’d share some of my faves.

In this area, men in hats can walk holding hands with little girls.

In this area, men in hats can walk holding hands with little girls.

Here they cannot

Here they cannot

Here, men in hats can walk holding hands with little girls (who look to have a slight limp?)

Here, men in hats can walk holding hands with little girls (who look to have a slight limp?)

And, finally, here men and women can stand around and talk as long as they are dressed nicely.

And, finally, here men and women can stand around and talk as long as they are dressed nicely.

Kitchen Quotes

We’re building a house.  This is how people in Hell are tortured, I think.

Over my stove (that I still need to pick out and buy so if you hear of any good deals…) will be a 12” by 14” tile I’m carving a saying in.  (Actual some guy is doing it, to be completely honest.  I don’t carve tile.  I know; you probably thought I did.)

Here are some classics I’m thinking of using.  Input welcome.

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. – G.K. Chesterton

A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat. –Old New York Proverb

I take a vitamin every day.  It’s called steak. –Buck Weston

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. –Fran Lebowitz

I will not eat oysters.  I want my food dead – not sick, not wounded – dead. – Woody Allen

You are what you eat.  For example, if you eat garlic, you’re apt to be a hermit. – Franklin P. Jones

Studies find top 3 most stressful moments in people’s lives: death, divorce, and properly pronouncing “Worcestershire sauce.” –Tony Hsieh

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers.  The original meal has never been found.  –Calvin Trillin

Remember, as far as anyone knows, we’re a nice normal family. –Homer Simpson

I’m thinking of going with the last one because I want a quote from Homer Simpson permanently in my home.

But

Life is a combination of magic and pasta.

Or

All sorrows are less with bread.

Ooh! Look! Bread.

Could also work.

Free Time

My last child is in school.  I now have all this free time.  People keep telling me I have free time.  Or they ask me what I’ll do with all of my free time.

Because now that my last kid is in school, I no longer have laundry.  My pantry is perfectly stocked and the groceries are delivered.  My refrigerator has nothing growing in it and never will again and when all of the kids walk out the door, their toys now float back to the right spot.

The bathrooms never need to be cleaned; the floors don’t need vacuuming.  The bills are all paid for the rest of my life.

My husband will never again forget something he wants me to do/pick up/ deliver.  “When ever is fine, but what are you doing now?”

Snow will fall everywhere except for my driveway and sidewalk and the leaves blow magically away.

My kids are in school so I won’t need to volunteer and help the teachers or go on field trips or be a part of the PTO to make sure I know what’s going on in their school.

I won’t need to prepare for 3:15 when chores need to be done with my supervision to make sure they are done semi ok; when piano needs to be practiced; when homework needs to be completed; when kids need to be taken to sports; when dinner needs to be made; when reading needs to be supervised; when “playing” occurs with crying; when computer time needs to be regulated.

I am so INCREDIBLY lucky I have all this free time.

Ooh Look! Semi-trucks!  I think I’ll learn to drive one with all of my free time.