I recently visited my parents. My parents are in their 80’s. They’re beginning to get old.
When people start getting old, things just go wrong with the body. When you ask the doctor why these things are happening, the doctor will look at you and say, “You’re old.”
I find the fact my parents are getting old to be selfish on their part.
Because it’s making me into a hypochondriac.
My Mom is waiting to have her second knee surgery. Due to this fact, I’m constantly imagining knee issues that I don’t actually have. Sometimes I run with a knee brace because my mom’s knee is hurting her. It makes no sense except it kind of does. If you don’t think hard.
My Dad had red lines on his arm that have since gone away but appear on my arm when I’m tired, emotional, and wearing a knee brace.
It also doesn’t help that whenever we drive by a funeral home, my Mom points out it’s a funeral home and whether or not it’s the one that my parents have purchased a burial program from. I know where all of the funeral homes in Riverton, Utah are. It’s a bit of trivia that’s fun for dinner parties.
The whole thing is freaking me out. And I’m too young to freak out.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get up and move around for a moment. My back is stiff from sitting in the same position for too long.
I hate running. I really really really really really hate it. Words cannot describe how much I do not enjoy lifting my legs faster than a walk. I used to jog occasionally and then I got a college degree and realized I hate it and stopped.
But I decided to do a triathlon and that’s part of it. So I’m running. A lot.
Last Saturday, a few friends drove down to Butte for a 5k. The three of them are hilarious. I thought the car ride down and lunch would be a riot. (it was) I blocked out the fact the reason for the trip was the 5k. And then we got there and it was cold and windy and hardly anyone ran so I couldn’t blend in with the other pathetic runners. I was the lone pathetic runner; besides some teenagers who stopped running half way and walked. I think their parents made them go because it was crappy weather and no one was going to show up.
I made it through the 5k. I came in second in my age group. There were two of us.
When I run, I suffer from severe lack of oxygen, which causes massive delusions on my part. So when I was asked, right after the race, if I would like to go with some other friends and do the Spokane to Sandy Point Relay race in August, I said yes. At least, that’s what I’m told. I don’t remember anything that happened after the race. Due to the delusions I previously mentioned. (I would include a doctor’s note about these health issues but I’ve yet to find one who will use the correct wording.)
So now I have to train longer distances. And I will be running three legs of this relay. Within 24 hours. So I will sleep in a van. And shower somewhere to be announced. And I have to do it SOBER, supposedly.
I really hate midlife crises. They wreak havoc on the knees.