Tag Archives: migraines

Headaches and White Powder

I had a migraine.

I wasn’t supposed to.

I just had a nice new dose of Botox to freeze my brain.

I can’t feel my forehead so I shouldn’t have headaches.  But as I was lying on a yoga mat, trying to straighten my leg without falling over, my vision went funny.  I ignored it until there was no denying what was happening. I dug through my purse looking for my migraine meds as I hurried to my car.

I hadn’t had a migraine for a year or so and the pill in my purse was old.  Very old.

I peeled open the aluminum packaging and the pill crumbled to a powder.

Now migraines make me a bit loopy.  The pain was already starting and I knew it was going to be bad.  So I stood on the street, in front of a local distillery, licking white powder off of my hands like a mad woman.

I looked up, saw the distillery, and for a split second I wanted to yell: “I have a migraine” just in case anyone was watching my intense drug-seeking actions.  But the pain was building.  I realized I didn’t care and hurried home.


I decided that in case someone did see me and that person happens upon this blog, I want you to know:

I may have ingested as much of that white powder as I could,

But I never inhaled.

Baseball caps help keep out the pain.  And this one helps me be full of glee.

Baseball caps help keep out the pain. And this one helps me be full of glee.

Migraines and Superstitions

I’ve heard how athletes are incredibly superstitious.  They all kiss a certain sign on the way to the field or rub the head of one of the managers as they go to bat or wear the same swim suit since they were 10.  I’ve always thought they were nuts.

Until I realized I do the same thing but not with sports… with migraines.

I started getting migraines when I was 14 and they didn’t know much about them and I was given Tylenol 3 which did NOTHING for me.  I would get about one a month.  I stopped getting them when I was about 20.  I got one each time I was pregnant and then one after giving birth, but nothing too significant to really worry about.  I thought they had something to do with hormones and didn’t think about it.

THEN (insert sinister music)

Last year I had 7 in 6 days.  But that was it.  A fluke, I’m sure.  It was the worst week of my life and I spent it in a dark room bemoaning my fate and yelling at my children.  But a year went by.  All is well. Or is it?

I’m getting them again and this time they’re random.  I had 2 three weeks ago, 1 two weeks ago and 1 this week.

I don’t mind the vision issues, the vomiting, or the fact that the left side of my body goes numb.  I can handle those things.  It’s the unknown pain factor.  My vision blurs and I panic because I don’t know how bad this one will be.

Will I be able to function or will I be rolling around in bed wondering exactly how many pills I can take before I cross the line?  I hate that unknown.

And so I’ve become superstitious.  I’ve cut out Diet Pepsi because caffeine can cause migraines.  I’ve stopped wearing a swim cap because it’s tight and maybe the pressure is causing migraines.  If I don’t fall asleep by 11:30 I take an Advil PM because lack of sleep can cause migraines.  I’m drinking water as much as I can because dehydration can cause migraines.  The hardest one is that stress can cause migraines but the fact I keep worrying about getting a migraine is WHAT IS CAUSING THE STRESS!!!

But I still live in constant fear that all of a sudden my vision will blur and I know I have 15 minutes.  15 minutes to take meds and find a dark room and get someone to pick up my kids or watch them and to contact my husband and let him know that I’m out for the rest of the day.

And I have to be out for the rest of the day because I make really bad decisions when on pain meds.  I’ve promised my eldest a car if he’d just be quiet.  I told my daughter she could raise a pony in her bedroom if she would go to a friend’s house.  I may have told more than one medical professional I would be their love slave if they found a cure.  (What really worries me about this last one is that I remember saying this to a couple people.  I just don’t recall who those people are…)

But if one of them found a cure, I’m pretty sure I’d follow through.

1997 was a very good year.

I had a good ten years.  I was really healthy between 22 and 29.  Ok.  I had a good seven years.  Before 22 I got migraines all the time.  At 29, I got pregnant and well, my body has never been the same.  After my second pregnancy, I got plantar fascitis, after my third pregnancy I got a tumor, and then finally, I thought I was done.  I was getting more energy and I was feeling happy and life was getting good for almost a month and then I got the stomach flu, which led into a horrendous 3-week chest cold, which has led to a week of migraines.  I have had four this week and I am bitter.
When you get migraines, people ask you if you are stressed.  My answer to that is yes.  I am incredibly stressed I AM GOING TO GET A MIGRAINE.  But now I am paranoid too so I am reading what the Mayo Clinic says I should do.  I have to stay away from processed foods and caffeine.  They might as well tell me to die or stop eating.  EXCEPT fasting can cause migraines.  I have been sleeping the week away from the medication I have taken until I found out that over sleeping could cause migraines.  But so can too little sleep.  So how does that work?  I need to take up yoga and there are some herbs I can take.
Causes of migraines?
Being a woman    check
Being between 30 and 40    check
Having a family history    check and thank you once again mom
Experiencing hormone changes    check although I question this because I have been off my meds since November so I would think I would have gotten these earlier.
So the Mayo Clinic’s risk factors are stupid because I have all of them.  I guess the question should be, why haven’t I gotten them before this week?  The answer is that the Gods, especially Zeus, loved me and now something has happened.  I’m not sure what.  I would burn incense to get in better favor but certain strong scents can trigger them.  (Notice I said strong.  Not any old scent.  It has to be REALLY REALLY strong.)  In other words, please continue to use deodorant soap after mowing the lawn.
And to add to it, I thought I would get pizza tonight as a treat.  My kids ate a little but not too much because they had asked my neighbor to cook them dinner.  My kids are begging for food.  Just because she is from China and everything I have ever had of hers has been amazing, this is not a good reason to be begging for food.  And now my son is throwing up in the bathroom.  I’m not going to help him, because that will probably cause a migraine.  (Or I will throw up too)  And you already know I am not a good mom because my kids won’t eat the pizza I made or bought them.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the funny taste in my mouth.  Because I also just found out that I have a higher likelihood for a stroke.  Explain to me why I care about high cholesterol or being obese when I could die?  Pass me another donut, but not the chocolate ones.  Chocolate causes migraines