Tag Archives: Pregnancy

Thank You

Although this last month has been completely horrid, it has also brought an outpouring and concern and love that I never imagined.

I must pause for a moment and thank everyone who has offered condolences and showed concerned.  I’ve received so many cards, notes, texts, flowers, and hugs.  Each and every one helped so much.  And even weeks later I get random texts or notes asking if  I’m doing okay.

This has kept me going.

It can be hard for me to mourn or cry.  I feel like people expect me to be funny all the time.  And although I’ve seen the irony of the past month (1% chance pregnancy followed by a less than 2% chance miscarriage…  While beating the odds like this, I should head to Vegas.) I don’t feel as funny.  I feel like I’m asking myself “Is this an appropriate place for a burst of emotion?” while doing inane things.  (I cried heavily in the middle of The Imitation Game.  I had no tears left at the end.  Instead I just thought, “What a horrible ending to an amazing man.  I should be crying.”  But I was spent.)

In the middle of all of this questioning of myself, people have just been kind.  It has been wonderful.

And I am so, so grateful.

Thank You

And Then We Told the Kids

We told our kids I was pregnant when I as at about 8 weeks.  I know that is taboo but I was exhausted and sick and less than stellar and I was tired of them wondering why their mom was not her same energetic “let’s bake cookies for the whole neighborhood” mom.  (Ok.  They may not expect that, but there has been more take out than normal because everything is DISGUSTING and when it isn’t disgusting, it MUST BE EATEN NOW.)

Here are their reactions:

12 yr old:  There is NO WAY this was a surprise.  You guys know exactly how this happens.  If you don’t want kids, stop having sex.  You’re trying to ruin my life.  If it’s a sister, I’m leaving.
(He then locked himself in his room and scream cried for an hour.)

9 yr old:  Does this mean we’re not getting a puppy?  Will we still travel?  (When we told her there would be a hold for a year) But babies travel free.  Why can’t we keep traveling if the baby is free?

7 yr old:  FINALLY, I won’t be the youngest.  You have NO IDEA how hard it is to be the youngest, Mom. (I’m the youngest of 5.)  But we should still get a dog.

So now we are on the countdown to see if the baby is a boy or a girl.  The youngest two would like a girl.  I believe I have made clear my oldest’s feelings on this matter.

And my oldest is now resigned to the fact this is happening.  When asked he now says, “Well, it’s happening and there isn’t much we can do about it. So I guess we’ll make the best of it.”

You’re not the only one who felt that way kid…

These are the shoes I bought when I found out.

These are the shoes I bought when I found out.  Maybe I should’ve bought the kids some too.

George Bailey Lassos Stork

Let me tell you a story.  It may get medically graphic at points so precede with caution.
It’s a story of surprise and extreme emotion.

it’s a story about life’s little comedies.

Two and a half months ago, I took my kids to Disneyland.  it was a fun-filled week of junk food and rides and not enough sleep.  I came home and collapsed.  I was kind of sleepy Sunday but didn’t think anything of it.

But then I was exhausted Monday.  I took a nap in the afternoon and couldn’t stay awake past 7pm that night.  The same thing happened Tuesday.  My husband told people I didn’t travel well.  I replied, “I went to Disneyland; not India.”

By Friday, I decided my anemia was acting up again and I should probably up my iron.  The day before my period starts, I usually fall asleep around 6pm and sleep 12 hours because of my anemia.  I said to my husband, “Hey.  I think I’m a week late.  I wonder if my body is messed up and so I can’t get over this hurdle or something.”

I texted Hollie: I’m a week late.  It’s driving me nuts.
She replied: Holy Crap.  If I lived there, I’d be right over with a test and lots of chocolates.

I thought, “I don’t need a test.  There is no way this is anything but my body being weird.”

The next morning I took the kids to school and bought a box of 2 tests so I could just get rid of this silly idea.  I forced myself to pee but didn’t think I’d gotten anything on the test.  (Leave me alone.  It’d been a while.)

So I put it in my pocket and started drinking tons of water and decided I’d just take the test at my personal trainer’s house.  Which isn’t as odd as it sounds because it was going to be negative and I was going to have to pee there anyhow.  And then we were going to LAUGH.

I pulled out of my pocket what I thought was basically an untaken test.  It had a faint positive.  I started to shake.  I ran back to my car and grabbed the other one in the box.  I took it and it IMMEDIATELY came up positive.  None of this “wait three minutes” crap.

I may have freaked out slightly.  My personal trainer may have later told me I scared her a bit.

I decided that the box was OBVIOUSLY faulty and I should get two DIFFERENT brands.

After I took five tests and they all came up positive rather quickly, I went to go find Kevin.

He asked if I was sure.  I called my old OBGYN (who I haven’t gone to in SEVEN years) and talked to his nurse.

FYI: If you ask an OB nurse what five positive home pregnancy tests mean, expect her to laugh a little.  (Both she and my regular practitioner’s nurse who I also called to find out what five positives mean (shut up.  I also called my father in law who is a physician.  All had the same answer.) asked, once they heard the panic in my voice, “Is this a happy thing?” I replied, “It’s just a surprise.”  Both asked, “How old is your youngest?” “Seven.” “oooooh. yes.  well, congratulations!.”)

We scheduled a blood test.  (Because, I mean, there are recalls all the time.  How were we to know that three different shipments of three different brands of pregnancy tests weren’t faulty?)

I probably would’ve done the rabbit test if it were still available.


I want lots of gifts.

I still think it could be the flu.

I still think it could be the flu.

(PS.  I have mixed emotions and my hormones are out of this world.  I am not a perky pregnant woman.  I’m simply a woman who is pregnant and who has 6 more months to live in denial.  Please remember this, and the fact I’m about to seriously outweigh you, before asking, “Aren’t you so excited?”)