Tag Archives: shopping

Shopping with my Daughter

I just went to Target with my 10 year old. Everyone should experience the joy of shopping with her. So with her permission, I share our recent experience. 

Every other year or so she gets Valentine’s and St. Patrick Day shirts. We went over to that section and I showed her this: 

  
Her response?  

“But gold is a solid rock. I don’t want my heart to be a solid rock.”

Then we saw this:

 
Her response:

“Donut pants?  That’s something YOU would wear.”

And there you have it. 

I have no idea why the second picture is sideways.

(And I probably would wear them if the situation was right.)

My name is Marianne and I shop on Thanksgiving

(What you are about to experience may be called controversial. It may even go against everything you stand for. I understand this and am really glad I won’t have to fist fight you for a Cabbage Patch Kid at Target on Thursday. Keep your principles! Shop online instead!)

I don’t understand the hype around retail stores being open on Thanksgiving. I know. I’m a horrible person. But after calculating a few things, I realized I’ve been a horrible person most of my life. This makes me feel an enormous sense of well-being.

It all started that dark Thanksgiving Day in the early 90’s. My brother and I were a bit bored and decided to go to a movie. We kept people away from their families that day without a second thought. And we kept doing it. Year after year after year. It became, dare I say, a tradition. I realize now, that seemingly innocent act was actually the beginning of my downfall.

It multiplied that one Thanksgiving I ran out of nutmeg and ran to the store early in the morning. How could I serve a pumpkin pie without nutmeg? Now I realize how unfeeling this act of purchasing truly was.

Now I must admit I’m a bit perplexed why people who work retail are more deserving to stay home than those who work at grocery stores, movie theaters or gas stations. But for some reason it wasn’t until you could buy a big screen TV on Thanksgiving that an uproar was created.

Maybe it’s because movies aren’t commercial. They are made selflessly for the entertainment of the populous. I’m almost 98% certain the executives who earn the majority of the profits work on Thanksgiving to show camaraderie with the guy selling me $5 Jr Mints.

And grocery stores are obviously necessary. The thought of having to buy everything beforehand without a fail safe is simply barbaric. What if Aunt Sue and Uncle Sebastian show up and we run out of paper plates? I shiver to think of such a horror.

My horribleness accumulated and last year when I went shopping Thanksgiving night. Why? Because (as my prolific friend stated) it’s “that night of laughing, chasing, hunting, and forgetting reality and responsibility while you stand in line for s*** you don’t even want.” How can I say no to that?

Do I wish it would move back to midnight like it used to be? Sure I do.

Because then I could go to a movie.

But it’s not. So I try to bring joy to those I see during my meaningless shopping excursion. I let them know they have saved a life by coming in on the most hallowed of holidays based around food. Because if I have to listen to Aunt June tell me how amazing her children are one more time, someone is going to get hurt.

How to Shoplift and Not Feel Guilty

I was walking by a store yesterday and my eye was caught by a brown, leather bag.  I pressed my head against the window to see if I could see a price tag.  It was a good price, in my opinion, and I thought I should get it in case of an emergency.

So I bought it.

I kind of looked inside, but not really.  It’s a big bag I’ll be throwing things in so the inside pockets really don’t matter to me.  I knew there was something inside of it, but I figured it was just another bag to keep this one in with an extra strap.

But when I went to use it this morning, there was a whole other purse inside.

The more I look at it, the more I think all of this goes together.  I just can't believe the price.  If I'd paid $75 or over, no question.  I didn't pay close to that.

The more I look at it, the more I think all of this goes together. I just can’t believe the price. If I’d paid $75 or over, I’d be fine, but I didn’t pay close to that.

I don’t see that as being an accessory.  If it is, these purses were an INCREDIBLY good price.  And the second one doesn’t have a price tag and matches completely so I may not have stolen a second purse.  I may not have a life of crime.  I may not need to flee to Canada later today.

But I feel guilty.  OK, the title to this piece is misleading.  I do feel guilty.  I don’t feel guilty about stealing, though.  (Because I didn’t actually steal anything.  I just may have walked off with merchandise I didn’t pay for.)  I feel guilty that the boss came in and screamed at the employee for not taking the second purse out of the first one because the one I bought was a display and the 2nd one could’ve been used to puff out the first one to make it look bigger.  And I would question none of this except I saw almost the exact purse without a second one inside.  Maybe someone stole THAT purse.

So I’m going to call  this morning, and make sure everything is fine.

Because I’m a nice person.  And I’m kind of hoping that I’m completely wrong about this and I get two purses for the price of one.

Or if I’m right,  maybe a free cookie.

 

What Exactly Constitutes the Christmas Spirit?

I’m taking a survey and I’m hoping you all agree with me because then I could tell my husband that tens of people agree with me.

Instead of baking homemade cookies that may not come out and some people may not like, I would like to deliver a plate of Pepperidge Farm cookies to all of my neighbors.

Everyone loves Pepperidge Farm cookies.  They have delicious gingerbread which is hard to do and they add peppermint to a bunch of stuff during this time of year.

The card would say: From our family to yours if we lived on a farm.  In the town of Pepperidge.

I think it would cause laughter and jealousy because everyone will wish they thought of it.  I mean, let’s be honest, no one WANTS to make 10 dozen cookies at Christmas.  We just want to look like amazing neighbors and make everyone love us.  (Especially if there’s a possibility our kid might pull out their flowers for Mother’s day.)

What do you think?  Is a plate of Pepperidge Farm cookies keeping within the Spirit of Christmas?  Would you like a plate?  (What’s your address?) 

I'd even put a store bought bow on it.

I’d even put a store bought bow on it.

Black Friday? More Like AMAZING Friday

I have a bad history with sleep deprived shopping.  Over the summer, after only 2.5 hours of sleep, the $200 French 101 textbook at my alma mater’s bookstore was EXACTLY what I needed.  (Luckily my alma mater also has a 24-hour return policy.  After 8 hours of sleep, I realized I probably wasn’t going to learn French in the privacy of my own home.  With just a textbook.  Without the answer key.)

Unfortunately, I LOVE sleep deprived shopping.  It should be a sponsored sport.  You just never know what you’ll think you can’t live without at 2am.  It’s very different than at 2pm.

Doubly luckily, my good friend Hollie feels the same way.  Our one guaranteed excursion each year is Black Friday shopping and we do our best to make it the best excursion ever.  Her family also comes along and ALSO enjoys sleep deprived shopping.  It’s a trifecta of perfection.

Now I can’t tell you all of my purchases because I’m giving them away but I can tell you that the $100 amethyst ring I bought for $10 so I could stand in line in the jewelry department instead of in the line that wrapped through the whole store was probably the best $10 I spent all night.  AND had I not waited in line in the jewelry department I wouldn’t have found this:

I even did my nails

I even did my nails

I also realized that Hollie needed one as well and I told her I was getting her one for Christmas except that I put it in her pile of stuff so she bought herself a Christmas present from me.  I still get credit for the gift, though.  Cuz it’s the thought that counts.

Then we went to Denny’s because they had all had an early Thanksgiving dinner but I had a late one so I ended up just getting a Coca-Cola float with a Diet Coke chaser.  I was a bit wired afterwards.  But it was all part of the game plan.

Then we went to JC Penney and Hollie and Tiffany and I decided we should commemorate the glorious occasion by buying a matching outfit.  And only at 1am would I buy an outfit that was partially found in the little girls’ department.  But I think it was a solid purchase although it looks cuter on my teammates.

You totally can't tell which two are sisters

You totally can’t tell which two are sisters

We parted ways at about 1:30 when we were all tired and we realized we had children who would be waking up in five hours. Overall it was a successful and educational shopping excursion.  I learned that I am the only person over the age of 14 who raises her hand when trying on dark green leather jackets to see if it’s uncomfortable to ask a question in a classroom while wearing the coat.  I also learned that Hollie and Tiffany would raise their hands when trying on leather coats from now on in order to mock me.  Even when I’m not there.  And then text me to let me know they can raise their hands.

And I learned that Coke floats with Diet Coke chasers at midnight make me shake just a tiny bit.

I can’t wait to see what I learn next year.

But Baby, It’s Cold Outside

I had one of those “Parenting” moments this morning.  One of those moments where you have no idea if you’re doing the right thing so you just pick one and decide Dr. Phil would be on my side.  And if he’s not, it’s ok because he can be a little self-righteous.

It’s my yearly goal to only buy my kids one winter coat.  I’m very vigilant about asking them where they’re coats are.  I generally buy the coats too big in hopes I can use them two years.  Last year I bought a 3-in-1 coat that you can unzip the inside fleece for one son and my daughter.  This is the warmest coat at Land’s End.  I also thought it would be the most versatile.   Until my kids started unzipping the coats themselves and leaving the inner or outer coat different places.

My son is missing the inner liner.  He’s decided the outer liner is actually colder without it.  (I think it’s because it’s nylon rather than fleece.)  So he wouldn’t wear it this morning.  I could’ve either:

  1.  Forced him to wear the coat
  2. Let him be cold so he would “learn a lesson.”

I chose #2 even though as a kid I would never admit I was cold until about 15 degrees.  So I have some of that “my kid’s gonna be cold Mommy guilt.”

Then I decided to buy him a new coat that doesn’t separate.  But it isn’t rated to -15 and in Montana, that can be important.

A friend buys her kids warm coats and then embroiders their office logo on it so when her kid leaves it somewhere no one will take it.  I’ve been thinking about doing that.

Because when I wrote my number on the back of their coats in large, permanent numbers, there were some unwanted results.

Look In My Purse and See My Soul

A professor of mine, Louise Plummer, taught that you should make lists as a way to keep a history or to find out more about yourself.  Lists of what’s under your bed; what’s in your car; what’s in your wallet… That sort of thing.
So here is a list of what was in my purse yesterday when I cleaned it out:

  • 1 sample kids’ toothpaste
  • 3 samples of floss
  • check book
  • glittery hair tie
  • ear buds
  • Target coupon
  • glasses cleaner
  • high heel page marker stickers
  • U of Iowa key chain
  • 4 expired Dr. appt. cards
  • key to office
  • 2 samples of essential oils
  • 5 lip glosses
  • 1 lipstick
  • 5 pens
  • a bracelet
  • a wallet (but that’s another list)

This is an amazing representation of me, if I think about it.  How well does your purse/wallet describe you?

It looks small but it can hold A LOT of lip gloss.

It looks small but it can hold A LOT of lip gloss.