Tag Archives: shopping

Black Friday Shopping

Scene: 9:30 pm.  A Pediatric Dentist and his wife turn in early because they are living the dream.  His cell phone rings.

PD: Hello?

Women with heavy German accent: Dr. Rencher?

PD: Yea?

Woman: I am Olga from the Hutterite colony Summerfest.  (name and colony made up)  Are you going Black Friday shopping?

PD: Uhm, maybe?

Woman: Could you buy me something?

PD: I guess… (said with intense confusion.)

Woman: Could you get me a steam iron at Sears?  It is normally $40 but is on sale for $20.

PD: OK (said with hesitation.)

Woman: I will be bringing my children Monday and I will pay for it then.  I promise to pay for it.

PD: I’m not worried.

Woman:  OK.  Thank you.  Goodbye.

PD turns to wife: I’ve never had that happen before.  Is this normal?

Wife: Yes.  In Germany, in the 1800’s when the Hutterites left, people would often ask their Pediatric Dentist to go Black Friday shopping for them.  And then they brought him a live chicken.

(Or perhaps the better question may be why my husband agreed to buy a steam iron for a random person because he’s their kids’ dentist.  If this gets out, we may be using the extra office space to open a personal shopping business.  We match your fillings with a nice hat and glove set.)

I Went Furniture Shopping. And Lived.

I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone lately.   For example, I’ve been wearing a bathing suit 4 hours a week by choice and not because my kids want to go play at the pool.  (The trick to this for me, being uncomfortable in a swimming suit, is believing that if I don’t look at anyone, they can’t see me.  I learned this from my four year old.)

And once again, on Saturday, I stepped out of my comfort zone and went… drum roll…  furniture shopping.  Oh the horror.

Now I’ve bought furniture before.  Right now, I’m sitting on a chair I actually own.  But I’ve been buying furniture at IKEA and Shopko.  It’s been dying lately so I thought I’d try a furniture store with the words “Furniture Store” in the title and where you can’t also get a lovely Swedish lunch or oil change.

My friend Lynette told me exactly what I needed.  She told me the size and the color.  I had color samples and a drawing in my hand.  It was as dumbed down as one could make it. I think I needed it one more level down.

Furniture is so permanent.  I took a friend with me and had a friend on speed dial.  Both of them tried to convince me that furniture is not permanent and I could handle the challenge and throw pillows will change my life.  I’m pretty sure Andrea wanted to slap me the 15th time I asked her if she liked the combination.  She kept grabbing the backs of chairs and her knuckles would get white as she told me once again Expresso is a sofa color and not what the sofa smells like.  (There are no scratch and sniff sofas by the way. But with leather names like Expresso and Carmel and Mocha, I’m thinking there should be.)

But I did it.  I bought furniture, like an adult.  And the furniture will come PRE-MADE, not in a flat box with assembly instructions.

I didn’t know they made it like that.

I bought this.  And it will actually come like this.  It won't come with an Allen Wrench.  I'll admit: I'm a litle skeptical

I bought this. And it will actually come like this. It won't come with an Allen Wrench. I'll admit: I'm a little skeptical

What I did for love (of a pair of shoes)

Women are supposed to love shoes.  I think it is in the club rules.  I have never understood this.  I am a Birkenstocks girl.  I love compfy shoes.  I have always felt shoes have a purpose – to support my feet and make them hurt the least they possibly can.  I have plantar fasciitis and so have left style behind me for some good arch support.  When the world comes tumbling down, my arches will not.

Then I saw them.

I was walking through Nordstrom, thinking I need some nice black heels.  Nordstrom has shoes.  I will try on some heels at Nordstrom.  I looked around and they called to me.

“Marianne,” they said with an accent (any will do).  “You need me.  You want me.  Only I truly understand you.  Your children will never love you the way I love you.  Your husband does not understand your true needs like I do.  Take me home.  I will love you forever.”

So I decided to try them on.  I tried on four other pair as well but these kept talking to me.  “No other shoe loves you like I do.  Those are sissy shoes.  They only have one-inch heels.  I have three inches.  I will make you into the perfect woman you wish to be.”  (This sounds so much more sophisticated with an accent.)

So I put the heels back on and tried walking across the floor.  And couldn’t.  I had lost the ability to walk in heels.  I broke out into a sweat.  I knew that I had to have these shoes.  It was important for my life to continue in a positive manner.  I tried to think.  Women who play secret agents on TV run in heels all the time.  They chase down bad guys in them and catch them.  If they can do it, I must learn how.

So I did what every normal woman who falls in love with a pair of three inch heels does: I left Nordstrom and joined the FBI.

Not a great picture, but can you hear them?

Of Nordstrom and Movies

I get the Nordstrom catalogue in the mail.  It makes me feel sexy and provocative as I open the perfume samples and rub the magazine on my wrists, like all supermodels do.

I believe if I owned this, I would be a better person:

It's Alexis Bittar. And I know you know who that is.

I am in a March Movie Madness contest.  I nominated Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. You need to go to


and vote for it because everyone one else gave real reasons why their movie should win and my reasons are:

1.  It has one of the greatest battle scenes ever to exist between man and beast and orc and troll and dwarf and hobbit and…

2. There was Aragorn and Legolas before Jacob and Edward were ever born.  (And they are real.)

3. When my children have been sent to their room and they keep trying to sneak by me, I like to slam a sword and staff down while yelling: “You shall not pass!”  (Which is from the first and second film, so that might not help my case much, but I find much pleasure in it.)

I’m not sure I can compete with other people’s explanations of cinematography and lighting.  So help me Obi-Wan-Kenobe, you’re my only hope.  (AND my competition is Empire Strikes Back so I think I may lose, lose, lose; especially if I keep quoting  the trilogy)