Tag Archives: Simon Baker

When Life Gives You Anxiety, Make Toast

For a blog to be successful, you are supposed to have a specific topic you stick to.  I would say that my topic is “Life;” not exactly narrow.

I think I’ve narrowed my topic in my head.  I don’t normally write too much on current topics.  (I don’t want to be taken as an authority on anything.)  I occasionally write on pop culture.   (Focusing on teen series of the 80’s and 90’s and Simon Baker.)

But generally this blog is about my life and the absurdity of life in general.

Occasionally something happens that is so absurd, so stupid that I actually react negatively to it (Hello Anxiety) and I can’t write about it.  All the while wanting to write about it.   (Just go with it. It’s much easier than trying to figure it out.)

Something like that happened Sunday.  I tried to help a difficult situation and instead escalated it.  I would compare it to thinking I was lighting a candle but instead it turned out to be dynamite.  A woman yelled at me.  And then yelled at everyone.  It was intense.

That’s all I can say.  I don’t do well with conflict.  I understand she has mental illness, but that doesn’t stop me from being mad.  I can’t run out my anger because of my foot and I can’t write out my anger because I don’t have words yet.

It’s times like these I wish this blog had more of specific topic.

That’s why I’m going to turn it into a Food Blog with recipes.

Tomorrow we start with toast.

All recipes will be able to be paired nicely with a vintage Diet Pepsi.

All recipes will be able to be paired nicely with a vintage Diet Pepsi.

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I’m also Following Blogs from Australia

This may be the last bit of Simon Baker side effects in my life for a while.  Besides thinking I know him and naming my chickens after him, there isn’t much left.

Except.

While I was in my googling/stalking/I want to visit Australia stage of my life, or as some call it, April, I happened upon two blogs that are keepers.

And you should follow them.  Because they are interesting and humorous and have this wonderful bit where they chat for five minutes and post it.  It reminds me of conversations I’ve had with friends.  Except it’s only five minutes.  And that’s generally how long we spend trying to decide if we should cook dinner or buy something and throw it into Tupperware and tell everyone we made it.

Anyhow.  Here they are:

The Sharpest Pencil by Lana Hirschowitz and Life and Other Crises by Kerri Sackville

I actually think I would get along better with them than Simon Baker.  Mostly because if I asked them what hair care products they use, I bet they know and would tell me.  (This may be an unfair judgement of Mr. Baker due to the fact that I have never asked him what hair care products he uses and he could be very free with this information.  I’m just worried I’d be arrested by the time I got close enough to ask.)

The best part is if people tell me that stalking is wrong and a bit creepy, I can argue that I found these two blogs that make me laugh and I can listen to them for the exact amount of time it takes me to put things in a Tupperware bowl and slice a cucumber on top to make it look homemade.

And what more can one ask for?

Copyright law is confusing so instead of posting a picture of them, I'm posting a picture of my semi-sharpened pencil.  It connects to what I wrote if you don't think very hard.

Copyright law is confusing so instead of posting a picture of them, I’m posting a picture of my semi-sharpened pencil. It connects to their blog titles if you don’t think very hard.

 

When Brad Came to Visit

My friend from Calgary came to talk about his book Imperfections at my book group (or as some like to call it “book club.”)  I’m unsure if he’d like to stay anonymous so let’s just say his name sounds like Bradley Somer.  In fact, it sounds so much like that, some may say his name actually is Bradley Somer.  Of course those same people may say I’m bad at anonymity.  What can I do? Haters  gonna hate.

“Brad” arrived on a bright Wednesday afternoon.  A friend of his back in Calgary wanted us to stop at the local Bath and Body Works to pick up a lotion and cleanser order.  I said we didn’t have a Bath and Body Works store anymore, but the friend insisted we did.  We discussed it a bit and I decided to believe the Canadian who’d never been to Helena that we had a store I’d never seen.  Maybe there was an urban renewal project happening I didn’t know about.  It’s not like I know everything…  So I took “Brad” to the mall.

I think the plants are a nice touch.

I think the plants are a nice touch.

If you tell people you’ve taken a visitor to the mall, you hear two responses:

1. The mall here?

2. We have a mall?

But I think there’s a lot of potential to a 90% abandoned building with bad lighting.  None that’s legal, but there’s still potential.  And I think hanging out at a deserted mall brings friends closer together.  Literally.  I held “Brad” out in front of me as a shield.

We also went to the Windbag.  Previously known as Big Dorothy’s, the longest operating brothel in town.  It’s now known for its hamburgers.

The book discussion went swimmingly.  No fist fights occurred so that was nice.  Everyone had delightful things to say about the book.  (It’s a good book.  Stop what you’re doing now and buy it.)  (Actually, wait until after you read this.)  I never had to change the subject by bringing up what I’d read in Entertainment Weekly like I usually do.

And everyone loved “Brad.”  They liked him so much they thought I was not a good host because I took him to the mall.  But now whenever “Brad” sees a dark building where people hang out to purchase powdered substances and practice knife throwing, he’ll think of Helena.

Our final stop was Sieben Ranch.

It's lambing season.  Can you tell?

It’s lambing season. Can you tell?

The sheep loved him too.  They couldn’t take their eyes off of him.  I think they liked him a little less once they realized he wasn’t there to help them deliver their lambs, but at least he tried.

We had a joyously fun time.  Everyone should come visit me.

I’ll take you to the mall.

PS Brad was born in Australia and lived there until he was 2, yet does not know Simon Baker.  So, so odd.  But I’m getting closer.

 

Simon and Baker

In case you have forgotten, we own chickens.  I hate them.  I have always hated them.  The seem to live to leave feces around the yard.  I don’t think I would mind them as much if they weren’t alive.

Recently a friend came over and told me his husband would love chickens.  I asked him if he would like to take mine.  They’re still here so I’m guessing the answer was no.

But while we were talking, I also divulged my psychotic Simon Baker break at the Jazz game.  And he came up with a rather brilliant idea.

He suggested I call the chickens Simon Baker and then I might like them more.

So here they are.

Simon And Baker.  Does it really matter which is which?

Simon And Baker. Does it really matter which is which?

I’ll let you know how it goes.

I Would Be A Lot of Fun at “The Mentalist”‘s Barbeque

I may have a slight issue.   It’s really hard to tell. I thought I’d share and get some second opinions. Because if you think you’re going crazy, you should ask people on the internet for a truly unbiased, yet medically sound diagnosis.

I’ve mentioned before that after my miscarriage, I found comfort, solace, and general escape from real life by watching The Mentalist. I’ve seen every episode a few times by now. Of course, I’m not really watching them to watch them, so even though I’ve seen one a few times, there are major plot lines I’ve missed. Maybe just side plot lines. But it’s amazing how much one can miss when one is not paying attention. (I’m pretty sure no one has realized this before and I’ve just changed the world.)

I decided I liked Simon Baker so I found the The Guardian. This show is not a comedy, however, and kind of intense and not exactly as carefree as The Mentalist.

The Mentalist is based on a man trying to find and murder a serial killer who killed his family. Turns out, one can have a pretty good sense-of-humor while trying to find a serial killer who killed one’s family.

So I decided to Google Simon Baker and see what else I could find.

He was also in a TV show called Smith, which there were only seven episodes. I saw all seven.

Then I watched The Devil Wears Prada. Then I watched it again to look more closely at the clothes.

In my defense, I never Googled personal stuff. I saw an interview on Jimmy Fallon where he and Fallon did Mick Jagger imitations but that was during a Jimmy Fallon You-Tube marathon. It’s amazing how much time you can waste clicking on games and weird things Fallon has done with guests on his show. Raw Egg Roulette is a favorite.

I digress.

So I don’t know Baker’s birthday or where he lives or his favorite color or what his sign is. I know he has a family. And he’s from Australia. But that’s it. And I know he’s in his 40’s. Maybe.  I think.

So I’m not exactly sure I would qualify as a stalker.

More of a temporary fan. (I’ve never watched this much of one actor in such a short period but when I was on my Beverly Hills 90210 fix, I did watch parts of the movie Dylan and Brandon did together on the Hallmark channel. I apologize for not researching the actors’ names. But they will always be Dylan and Brandon in my heart.  And I will always be willing to watch BH 90210 though I somehow feel as though I will outgrow Simon. Sorry.)

HOWEVER

I do believe there may be a problem.  A tiny one.

Because during spring break when I took my kids to the Jazz game, I noticed Dante Exum is from Australia.  (Exum is an amazing rookie on the team and a blast to watch play ball.)

And I thought, “I should tell Simon.”

Then I remembered I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW SIMON BAKER.

It took me a whole second for that to register.  That seems a second too long.

But I do think he’d like me if we did meet.  I’m great fun at barbeques.

(Due to the fact that I’m afraid of infringing on copyright and I don’t actually have any personal pictures of Simon Baker possibly because I don’t actually know him, I will not be including a picture in today’s blog post.  Thank you for understanding.)