Tag Archives: stupid things I’ve done

I Need a Sign for Days I Try to Hide Out

There’s this odd phenomenon in my life and I want to know if others have it as well.

On certain days, when I know I don’t have to go anywhere until my kids come home, I’ll shower, get half ready, put my pajama bottoms back on and wait to put any make up on.  And I love it.

BUT if the doorbell rings, I panic.  How dare someone randomly stop by on a day when I don’t put base on until 3:05pm?

Today, it was UPS.  The package is still on the porch.  And it will be.  Until 3:10.

But then I think: why do I look as comfortable/bad as I can when someone coming by brings complete and utter terror?  Should I make a sign to put on my door?  What should it say?

I really am home, but until I’m no longer in my pj bottoms, I will not be opening this door.

Leave whatever you’ve brought and back away slowly.  Any resistance will be met by a Medusa-like creature.

Real people with real lives don’t come out until after dark.  PS  What’s your blood type?

Unless you have chocolate cake, don’t ring the bell.

What would your sign say?

You can see if I'm in my office as you walk to the door.  (And I know our lawn is AMAZING)

You can see if I’m in my office as you walk to the door. (And I know our lawn is AMAZING)

How to Change Your Appearance through Tagging

It all started yesterday when my friend and I were talking and I heard that a girl drove from Utah to Montana to buy a car because she liked the car salesman.  I thought: That’s a little obvious.


Then I realized I’d done obvious things in college.
Like the time I wanted to meet Justin and he was on the other side of the cafeteria so my friend hid our salt shaker and told me to go ask him for the salt.  So I did.  Of course, to ask him for the salt, I actually passed about 20 other people and probably 6 other salt shakers.  His looked fresher.  His friends told him I was into him; he had really observant friends.


I told my friend this story.  And due to the fact I liked him because I thought he looked like Micheal Stipe I showed her a picture of both.  But smart phones can be tricky and I ended up tagging myself in his profile picture until I figured out how to untag.


So for a full five minutes yesterday, I was a 6’2” bald man.
Today I just feel a little funny.