Tag Archives: things that make me go hmm

Black Friday? More Like AMAZING Friday

I have a bad history with sleep deprived shopping.  Over the summer, after only 2.5 hours of sleep, the $200 French 101 textbook at my alma mater’s bookstore was EXACTLY what I needed.  (Luckily my alma mater also has a 24-hour return policy.  After 8 hours of sleep, I realized I probably wasn’t going to learn French in the privacy of my own home.  With just a textbook.  Without the answer key.)

Unfortunately, I LOVE sleep deprived shopping.  It should be a sponsored sport.  You just never know what you’ll think you can’t live without at 2am.  It’s very different than at 2pm.

Doubly luckily, my good friend Hollie feels the same way.  Our one guaranteed excursion each year is Black Friday shopping and we do our best to make it the best excursion ever.  Her family also comes along and ALSO enjoys sleep deprived shopping.  It’s a trifecta of perfection.

Now I can’t tell you all of my purchases because I’m giving them away but I can tell you that the $100 amethyst ring I bought for $10 so I could stand in line in the jewelry department instead of in the line that wrapped through the whole store was probably the best $10 I spent all night.  AND had I not waited in line in the jewelry department I wouldn’t have found this:

I even did my nails

I even did my nails

I also realized that Hollie needed one as well and I told her I was getting her one for Christmas except that I put it in her pile of stuff so she bought herself a Christmas present from me.  I still get credit for the gift, though.  Cuz it’s the thought that counts.

Then we went to Denny’s because they had all had an early Thanksgiving dinner but I had a late one so I ended up just getting a Coca-Cola float with a Diet Coke chaser.  I was a bit wired afterwards.  But it was all part of the game plan.

Then we went to JC Penney and Hollie and Tiffany and I decided we should commemorate the glorious occasion by buying a matching outfit.  And only at 1am would I buy an outfit that was partially found in the little girls’ department.  But I think it was a solid purchase although it looks cuter on my teammates.

You totally can't tell which two are sisters

You totally can’t tell which two are sisters

We parted ways at about 1:30 when we were all tired and we realized we had children who would be waking up in five hours. Overall it was a successful and educational shopping excursion.  I learned that I am the only person over the age of 14 who raises her hand when trying on dark green leather jackets to see if it’s uncomfortable to ask a question in a classroom while wearing the coat.  I also learned that Hollie and Tiffany would raise their hands when trying on leather coats from now on in order to mock me.  Even when I’m not there.  And then text me to let me know they can raise their hands.

And I learned that Coke floats with Diet Coke chasers at midnight make me shake just a tiny bit.

I can’t wait to see what I learn next year.

A New Attitude Could Change the World

I was sick yesterday.  I was working out and I think I pinched a nerve, causing a massive headache and nausea.  It was not my favorite moment.  Luckily, I was able to see a chiropractor and he helped me live another day.  But as I was sitting with a garbage pail at my feet and my friend driving me around, all I kept thinking was: Do Not Throw Up.

This caused me to reflect.  (The pain meds probably helped as well.  They made everything so pretty, creating a more reflective atmosphere.)

Why is throwing up socially unacceptable?

We’ve all done it and probably will one day again.  We know that in general you always feel better when you throw up even if it’s only for a little while.  That almost sick feeling with your mouth salivating is one of the worst feelings ever invented ever and if you can throw up and not feel it for 20 minutes, why do we do everything in our power to hold it down?  What would happen if we all threw up when we felt like it?

I think we should give it a try.  Just don’t try it by me.  I think throwing up is gross.

(There’s no picture.  I think it’s best.  Don’t you?)

Do Friendships Based on Food Last?

It finally happened.  One of my many fears in life.  I was at the Salt Lake City Airport and I saw someone I knew.

 
I was sitting at the terminal with my daughter.  The flight before ours was getting ready to board when a group of four men stood up and I think:
“Hey!  I know him.  I think I knew him in England.  I should just yell Coats.  But is it Coats?  Sure, it is.  Wait.  Coats had glasses.  He doesn’t have glasses.”
(Luckily I didn’t think about how I was wearing contacts and therefore others might be as well.)
“But I know I know him.”

 
So I stared at him as he walked toward the gate.  I turned in my seat and nonchalantly looked.  (Unless staring without blinking isn’t nonchalant.)
Then it HIT! Greg! From my sophomore year of college.  My roommate and I hung out with him and two of his roommates for a whole summer.  We met because I’d had a bad day.
The guy I was “in looooove with” ignored me; I didn’t get the grade I wanted in a class; my hair didn’t work; my pants were tight.
(I don’t actually remember but these were the things that upset me when I was 19.)

 
I got home in the evening, put on my bathing suit and decided I was going to jump in the pool and sit on the bottom for about 39 seconds.  I stood on the diving board.  I got prepared to jump.  I looked down.  It looked cold.  I wasn’t the Olympic swimmer I am back then.  Cold water always stopped me.  I stood on that diving board for about fifteen minutes.  Maybe more.
Then I heard: “Just do it.”
I looked up.  Some guy was sitting on a chair by the pool reading.  I’d wanted a private moment.  I deserved a little privacy while standing on the community pool’s diving board in the dead center of a four building apartment complex.  Next to the parking lot.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been there for fifteen minutes.  Jump.”
“It looks cold.”
“Do it.”
“You do it.”
“I’m not in a bathing suit.”
“I’m contemplating.”
“If you jump now, you can go with me and my friends to the all you can eat buffet for $5.99 at Brick Oven.”
“Brick Oven has an all you can eat?”
“Yes.  But you can’t come unless you jump.”
He stood at the edge of the pool and waited.
“Pizza and pasta?” I asked.
“And bread sticks.”
I jumped, got out, changed, told my roommate we were going to dinner and started a wonderful friendship built on cheap food.  It lasted a whole summer and was one of the more fulfilling friendships I had in college.

 
I didn’t say hi.  He was third in line to board when I realized who he was.  Calling someone back as they enter an airport gate is usually reserved for romantic couples calling out to each other to stay.  Not for calling: “Hey do you remember me? We shared Nachos Grande.”

We'd probably still be friends if we'd started with cake.

We’d probably still be friends if we’d started with cake.

How I Prepare for Catastrophes

Occasionally I watch Revolution.  The show scares me to death.  But I like Billy Burke.

All my life I’ve been told to keep between 3 months to a year’s worth of food storage.  I’m supposed to have a 72 kit that’s mobile.  (I have this last one and I’m working on the 3 month one.  Of course I’m not sure I know where the 72 hour kit is, but I’m unsure how important that is.)  (Actually, this is a lie.  I have a couple days worth of Captain Crunch in my basement.  I’m going to work on this very, very soon.)

But now that I’ve watched Revolution, I don’t think this is enough by far.  I need sword lessons, hand combat skills, computer science skills, and to be able to perform surgery with a sharp knife and whiskey.  (How the whiskey should be used is a bit ify.)

I’m just not ready.  Maybe that’s why I don’t have food storage.  Then no one will attack my house because there’s nothing of value in it.  I think this is a sound approach to the world falling apart.

I wonder if “amazing wit” would come in handy.

I'm saving perfume samples.  That should count for something.  Especially if I can memorize that model's intense glare.

I’m saving perfume samples. That should count for something. Especially if I can memorize that model’s intense glare.

“I’m Crafty and You’re Glue…”

Lately life has been hard as it tends to become on Wednesdays in September.  (Although they have nothing on 4:25pm on Thursdays in January.)  For some reason, quotes work for me.  So I’ve decided to occasionally share some of them with you.  When I remember.

As many of you know I’m incredibly crafty and so I made this:

I should get a job at Hobby Lobby

I should get a job at Hobby Lobby

If you’d like to make it, buy greeting cards, 2 pieces of paper, tape and a frame and have at it.  (If you spend longer than 10 minutes, you did it wrong.)

Here is the greeting card (Upper right in the frame) I’ve been reading a lot lately:

The secret to the fabulous life is to Live imperfectly with great delight.

In small print: the great thing is, Once we let go of being everything, we have the opportunity to be gloriously ourselves.

It’s pretty much the same as the e.e. cummings poem I have practically memorized:

To be nobody but
yourself in a world
which is doing its best day and night to make you like
everybody else means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.

Some of you may be surprised I have to remind myself to “just be me.”  But there you have it.

What are your go to quotes?