DH played an ace

Posted on 05/16/2012 | 2 Comments

I feel as though I must write this post in order to give a balanced view of my Dear Husband.  (Especially after writing about my previous  birthday celebration.)

One of Kevin’s employees got married yesterday in Salt Lake City, Utah.  He asked her if it was important that he go.  She said yes.  So he said he would go.  He asked me to go.  I said no.

Don’t judge me.

We’re remodeling, moving, getting furniture delivered, training, learning to swim, and taking kids to horseback riding lessons and soccer.  (That is what I was supposed to do yesterday.)  And when I say “we” I mean me.  I’m overwhelmed.  Flying to Salt Lake City seemed like a bad idea.

But then Kevin asked again and said, “I have a babysitter.”  I still said no because I’m still overwhelmed.

Then on Friday, he called me at about 2pm and said, “I made you an appointment with Juan.”

I was shocked.  For those of you who don’t know, Juan is the hair stylist at Estilo Salon in Salt Lake City.  His wife, Rina, does brows.  They are AMAZING and make you feel AMAZING and I LOVE LOVE LOVE this salon.  I go about three times a year because the commute is hell.  They are booked out at least 2 weeks or more.  And they were making time for me.  (Almost everyone I’ve met in real life has heard of Juan and Rina.  Luckily for them, I’m really really bad at stalking.  Especially 3 states away.  But I’m pretty sure we’d be best friends if I lived in Salt Lake.  Because I would move in next to them.  Because moving in with them is illegal.  I need to read up on how to be a squatter.)

Once Kevin pulled the Juan card, I knew he wanted me to go.  He didn’t even know the name of the salon.  He googled Juan, salon, salt lake city; called them and asked if they knew a redhead named Marianne from Montana.  There was a bit of effort here.  So I said yes.  Rina and Juan had balloons for me and Juan highlighted my hair blonde because he said it would be a great idea.  And I pretty much do whatever Juan and Rina say.  Because they are right.  And they have accents.

Kevin and I had a great day.  We ate at The Park Cafe, went to the wedding, shopped at City Creek, and had dinner with my brother, in from Denver, and my mom.  It was a really amazing day.

Kevin won.

I hate taking photos of myself. I may need to get over this but not today. So enjoy a nice mixture of my new  hair color and my curtains. I think they match beautifully.  (and yes, that is the evil eye)

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I Fell. And it hurt.

Posted on 05/08/2012 | 8 Comments

A month or so ago I said I would consider writing a part time job.  I lied.  Big time.  If it really was a job, I’d been fired about 3 days after I’d written that post.  Instead, I’m exercising.  I think I’ll do just about anything to avoid finishing my manuscript.

Yesterday, I ran around a block 7 times.  We ran up hill as fast as we could then recovered the next 3 lengths of the block, making a square.  My friend Cathy and I were the first ones there.  Sarah, the instructor, told the two of us that if I’d worn shorts, she would have cut the number of drills by one.  I wore capris.  I’m buying shorts tomorrow.

Then, after going home, I worried I wasn’t getting enough combination training in.  So I decided to go on a short bike ride. Then I was going to pack a room and write for an hour.  Because I’m nothing if not unrealistic.

I rode about a mile, turned down a side rode, and decided to turn around.  I hadn’t seen anyone on my ride.  Until I decided to turn around.  There were four people in their yard who watched me turn on gravel.  My bike slid out from under me and I slid across the road.  I’m really glad I was wearing capris.

I got up.  The people asked me if I was ok.  I said I was.  I tried to ride away.  My chain was off.  I put it back on before one of the guys got to me to help.  I was feeling really tough.  Until the air hit my arm which was missing a layer of skin.  Then I felt like calling my husband on my cell and telling him to come get me.  But I made it home.

Kevin wouldn’t clean out my wound.  He told me to shower.  He mentioned something about me being mean when hurt.  I took a shower.  I yelled a little when water hit my arm.  I got out.  Kevin looked at my arm and mentioned I didn’t clean it very well.  I told him to shut up.  (this may be what he’s talking about.)  I asked for morphine.  He said he was plum out.

I put a big bandage on it because it makes me feel better.  Then I wrote a paragraph and went to bed.

I will do anything to get out of writing.

Thi

This is smaller than it looks in real life.  In real life, it’s 2 feet long.

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Born to Run. But not really.

Posted on 05/02/2012 | 13 Comments

I hate running.  I really really really really really hate it.  Words cannot describe how much I do not enjoy lifting my legs faster than a walk.  I used to jog occasionally and then I got a college degree and realized I hate it and stopped.

But I decided to do a triathlon and that’s part of it.  So I’m running.  A lot.

Last Saturday, a few friends drove down to Butte for a 5k.  The three of them are hilarious.  I thought the car ride down and lunch would be a riot.  (it was) I blocked out the fact the reason for the trip was the 5k.  And then we got there and it was cold and windy and hardly anyone ran so I couldn’t blend in with the other pathetic runners.  I was the lone pathetic runner; besides some teenagers who stopped running half way and walked.  I think their parents made them go because it was crappy weather and no one was going to show up.

I made it through the 5k.  I came in second in my age group.  There were two of us.

When I run, I suffer from severe lack of oxygen, which causes massive delusions on my part.  So when I was asked, right after the race, if I would like to go with some other friends and do the Spokane to Sandy Point Relay race in August, I said yes.    At least, that’s what I’m told.  I don’t remember anything that happened after the race.  Due to the delusions I previously mentioned.  (I would include a doctor’s note about these health issues but I’ve yet to find one who will use the correct wording.)

So now I have to train longer distances.  And I will be running three legs of this relay.  Within 24 hours.  So I will sleep in a van.  And shower somewhere to be announced.  And I have to do it SOBER, supposedly.

I really hate midlife crises.  They wreak havoc on the knees.

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Migraines and Superstitions

Posted on 04/26/2012 | 12 Comments

I’ve heard how athletes are incredibly superstitious.  They all kiss a certain sign on the way to the field or rub the head of one of the managers as they go to bat or wear the same swim suit since they were 10.  I’ve always thought they were nuts.

Until I realized I do the same thing but not with sports… with migraines.

I started getting migraines when I was 14 and they didn’t know much about them and I was given Tylenol 3 which did NOTHING for me.  I would get about one a month.  I stopped getting them when I was about 20.  I got one each time I was pregnant and then one after giving birth, but nothing too significant to really worry about.  I thought they had something to do with hormones and didn’t think about it.

THEN (insert sinister music)

Last year I had 7 in 6 days.  But that was it.  A fluke, I’m sure.  It was the worst week of my life and I spent it in a dark room bemoaning my fate and yelling at my children.  But a year went by.  All is well. Or is it?

I’m getting them again and this time they’re random.  I had 2 three weeks ago, 1 two weeks ago and 1 this week.

I don’t mind the vision issues, the vomiting, or the fact that the left side of my body goes numb.  I can handle those things.  It’s the unknown pain factor.  My vision blurs and I panic because I don’t know how bad this one will be.

Will I be able to function or will I be rolling around in bed wondering exactly how many pills I can take before I cross the line?  I hate that unknown.

And so I’ve become superstitious.  I’ve cut out Diet Pepsi because caffeine can cause migraines.  I’ve stopped wearing a swim cap because it’s tight and maybe the pressure is causing migraines.  If I don’t fall asleep by 11:30 I take an Advil PM because lack of sleep can cause migraines.  I’m drinking water as much as I can because dehydration can cause migraines.  The hardest one is that stress can cause migraines but the fact I keep worrying about getting a migraine is WHAT IS CAUSING THE STRESS!!!

But I still live in constant fear that all of a sudden my vision will blur and I know I have 15 minutes.  15 minutes to take meds and find a dark room and get someone to pick up my kids or watch them and to contact my husband and let him know that I’m out for the rest of the day.

And I have to be out for the rest of the day because I make really bad decisions when on pain meds.  I’ve promised my eldest a car if he’d just be quiet.  I told my daughter she could raise a pony in her bedroom if she would go to a friend’s house.  I may have told more than one medical professional I would be their love slave if they found a cure.  (What really worries me about this last one is that I remember saying this to a couple people.  I just don’t recall who those people are…)

But if one of them found a cure, I’m pretty sure I’d follow through.

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I Went Furniture Shopping. And Lived.

Posted on 04/23/2012 | 4 Comments

I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone lately.   For example, I’ve been wearing a bathing suit 4 hours a week by choice and not because my kids want to go play at the pool.  (The trick to this for me, being uncomfortable in a swimming suit, is believing that if I don’t look at anyone, they can’t see me.  I learned this from my four year old.)

And once again, on Saturday, I stepped out of my comfort zone and went… drum roll…  furniture shopping.  Oh the horror.

Now I’ve bought furniture before.  Right now, I’m sitting on a chair I actually own.  But I’ve been buying furniture at IKEA and Shopko.  It’s been dying lately so I thought I’d try a furniture store with the words “Furniture Store” in the title and where you can’t also get a lovely Swedish lunch or oil change.

My friend Lynette told me exactly what I needed.  She told me the size and the color.  I had color samples and a drawing in my hand.  It was as dumbed down as one could make it. I think I needed it one more level down.

Furniture is so permanent.  I took a friend with me and had a friend on speed dial.  Both of them tried to convince me that furniture is not permanent and I could handle the challenge and throw pillows will change my life.  I’m pretty sure Andrea wanted to slap me the 15th time I asked her if she liked the combination.  She kept grabbing the backs of chairs and her knuckles would get white as she told me once again Expresso is a sofa color and not what the sofa smells like.  (There are no scratch and sniff sofas by the way. But with leather names like Expresso and Carmel and Mocha, I’m thinking there should be.)

But I did it.  I bought furniture, like an adult.  And the furniture will come PRE-MADE, not in a flat box with assembly instructions.

I didn’t know they made it like that.

I bought this. And it will actually come like this. It won't come with an Allen Wrench. I'll admit: I'm a litle skeptical

I bought this. And it will actually come like this. It won't come with an Allen Wrench. I'll admit: I'm a little skeptical

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How to have a BFF without them knowing

Posted on 04/18/2012 | 9 Comments

I have a running joke with my two friends in tri training that the swim instructor is my new BFF because I’m at the pool M-F.  He just doesn’t know this.

I find this to be a minor point.

I like imaginary relationships.  They take the pressure off of ever finding time to do anything together.  You can drive by their house, and just hang out in your car on the street.  It doesn’t even matter if they’re there.  (But if they are there, I recommend you hunch down a little.)

You can tell people they think you are wonderful without any basis whatsoever.  Just make sure they don’t hear you.

Because THAT would be embarrassing.

(Dear Swim Instructor, This is strictly hypothetical.  I’ve never done a drive by of your house.  But I have a strong feeling I would love your curtains.  Sincerely, the redheaded girl in swim class you nod your head to when you see)

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Run Spot Run

Posted on 04/16/2012 | 12 Comments

Last Monday, I learned that I don’t actually know how to run correctly.  I stop myself by landing on my heel instead of landing on the ball of my foot.

Here is an exercise for you.  Stand up.  March in place.  (If you are holding your laptop, use both hands.)  Do you feel where you’re landing on your feet?  This is where you should land when you run.

I can do this fine when jogging.  Then Sarah said run at 85%.  I lengthened my stride.  She said, “That is wrong.  Move your legs faster instead.”  I tried.  I failed.  I tried again.  I failed again.  There are 10 people in this class and the instructor was running next to me trying to help me.  She is a wonderful instructor and when I finally got it, she cheered.  And so did part of the class.

That was the part that brought me back to grade school when people try to cheer you on when you just don’t get it and everyone knows you’ll probably never get it but you need to be encourage  for fear you will be scarred for the rest of your life.

I’m that kid in running class.

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